there's something about ..... that birth cert

Today I gave my son the most precious present a father can give him... a citizenship in paper. I decided to be cheepo and give him a birth certificate.

And no... I didn't need to submit my explanation letter.

I started practicing writing his chinese name as early as 2 days ago. I go to the extend of making sure that every stroke is characterily correct. I ask my father about our surname and what would be the correct way of writing.

My dad almost disown me after I post that question.

This may sound stupid but after writing our surname for the last few decades, we each have a little variation. My dad wrote a version which I corrected him as not correct. I wrote a version which my dad say is not correct too.

And so we turn to Dictionary.

After we make sure all the strokes were correct, I spend the night practising away.

Today I went to ICA confidently that I will write the most beautiful chinese characters in my life. For your info, when strangers see my handwriting for the first time, they think I'm a Doctor.

But things did not exactly go my way. I forgot to bring the pen which I practise with. You may think "SO?". But when you are used to the thickness of the pen, the gripe and the ink flow that produce the most beautiful chinese words I ever written and made Chinese Calligraphy look like child play, you know I'm in trouble.

I felt like a Superman without the phonebooth, Darth Vadar without the mask....

And ICA being any government body, do not use good pens. They used those you can buy from Popular Bookstore like 10 pens for $1. And it's those pen with a transparent body that let you know when the ink is finished. And it's those pen that before you write, you draw a few zigzag lines on other pieces of papers to make sure the ink is fine. AND they do not have other pieces of papers. So I used my own.

And when the lady (is a nice lady) ask me to write on the birth cert, I got a minor shock. The height of the lines for me to write the characters on, is shorter than I thought. And I have for 2 full days, practice writing the characters bigger and taller.

And now I have to shrunk them about 0.5cm shorter.

Problem. Trying writing 羲 on a shorter height of a line, with a pen that doesn't have smooth flowing ink, on a birth cert which your son will use it throughout his life up to 12 years old and be ridicule by teachers who laugh at him because his dad wrote the characters like an Angmoh.

I wrote it and immediately I know I screwed up. The lady afer laminating the birth cert realised that the above word is not very well defined. She couldn't make out some of the strokes at all.

Surprise... Surprise... Surprise.

First Surprise, She took out a chinese Dictionary and search for the character. She later show me how it should be written. Of course I already knew how it was supposed to be written but was restricted by the height of the line. And I wonder what is the point, after all she already laminates the birth cert.

Second Surprise, she ask me whether I want to redo it? Win liao lor.... they should have tell me about the possibility of a second chance so that my first time will not be so stressed out and I may just produce nicer handwritings. So of course I want to redo it.

Third Surprise, Gar'ment got such good service!! According to Lily, this must be an indication that Election is coming.

Anyway, my second chance look just as screwed up as the first.

After examining the birth cert, I realised something is wrong. Not wrong, but why.

Why my wife's details goes above me. Afterall, the baby follow my surname, not hers. Of course, since she give birth to my son, chin chai lah. Let her be above lor.

Next, under the "mother's particulars", there is a field for birthdate and address but no such field was present on the "father's particulars". Maybe the government want to buy her a birthday present sent by registered post.

Also they needed the address of the informant which could be anybody other than us. In this instance, since I'm signing the birth cert, the informant would be me.

Now... let me digest. To the government, the person who fathered the child will only get a mention. Where he stay and when he is borned is immaterial.

The informant who jolly well could be any helpful neighbour gets to sign the birth cert and address listed so that gar'ment know where to look for him? But looking for the biological father is not even considered?

Son, Happy Full month!!