Monday, May 22, 2006

there's something about ..... homosexual

I met up with coolcat and family briefly yesterday. And we talked about "gay".

They went to Ikea over the weekend and they saw lots of gay couple hunting for furniture. Coincidentally, yesterday's New Paper carries an article about Homosexual activities in some of these health clubs for men. One "victim" had an orgy in one of these health club and came away with HIV. So this became a conversation piece.

I was surprised to find out about such clubs in Singapore.

Years ago, I was a member of California Fitness. I signed with a male buddy of mine. In those days, it's perfectly normal for 2 guys to go clubbing together, to go workout together, to have a meal together .... all these without a second look from passer bys. It's understood that such outings are normal male-bonding activities.

But now... people view "male-bonding" activities differently. I would think twice about asking my buddy out for a drink and risk being seen as a potential gay. Nowadays gay are getting more and more open and they wouldn't mind chatting you up just to know your sexual orientation.

Now.... back to California Fitness. In those days about 5 years ago, things are more "normal". It appears that single guys go there to check out the single girls... Single girls go there to check out the single guys.

However, things are alot more different in the changing room. I have personally witnessed a young, studious looking chap, like probably a IT programmer kind of look... chatting up another guy near me. As I was changing, I could hear their conversation. As innocent as the conversation is, one could tell is a sizing up conversation.

Not only that, I always see this muscular guy wrapped with a tower walking around in the changing room. While you think it's normal to see a Muscular guy wrapped with a tower in a changing room in a gym, this guy always seems to be in the changing room not doing anything other than getting change. He could be walking here and walking there and he is hardly in a sweat. You wonder what he is up to. Why I took notice? Because he has that "I want to lick you" look which I find disgusting and constantly worried about my modesty. Not that I'm so babelicious that I could attract gays... but I think in those days, it's not easy to find a partner and I think these people lowered their expectation to cast their net wider.

And you felt your modesty is under the higest risk in the Steam Bath Room. In that room, where you have guys with just a tower wrapped round you know what and within 4 walls and with the room full of "steam", you felt you were visually molested all the time.

So I stopped going and basically forgo my membership with almost about 1 year left in the contract.

Anyway, yesterday coolcat mentioned about one outing I have with "wolf", another buddy of mine, many years back. She said that is very brokeback.

It was many many years ago, and I was at the beach with "wolf". We were just hanging out at that beach, sharing a beach mat. I was doing my thing, he was doing his thing. It was a very innocent hang out back in those days.

I guess coolcat knew about it because she ask me where I was and I told her I'm at the beach with "wolf".

And I realised something yesterday.

Did such an openness from gay today, started many years back from this very innocent hangout between 2 buddies, that gay people mistook as a rendevous and they decided that being gay is no big deal and you can be open about it?

Does that mean myself and "wolf" revolutionalised Singapore's gay's society?


Moral of the story.... be careful who you ask to go to the beach with you.... you may change the lives of thousands, if not million.


cheeky said...

Thanks to TV shows like sex and the city, queer eye 4 a guy etc, a gay friend nowadays is like a chic accessory everyone is clamouring to have. On another note, there are plenty of fake gays around just for the pathetic reason of trying to be in trend and appear sophisicated and interesting.

moomooman said...

wah... what if fake becomes real by force. Like if you are in a steam room in a health club meant for men and suddenly they have an orgy and you couldn't get out of it?

Also.. you mean being gay is trendy, sophisticated and interesting? Then... I'm gay too. hehe.

TheJourneySoFar said...


Nice posts. I thought it was a honest straight look at the gay world. Anyway, I will say that your experiences in the locker or steam room should be no different from women being mentally stripped down and "raped" by men in the swimming pools, beaches, clubs, etc.

Well, I hope that you don't forego your brotherhoodness just because people may think that you are gay. You are who you are, what's wrong with straight men being close to other straight men? If you feel ackward about it, then it could be that you are not secure about your own sexuality or identity. I have known straight men who are even close to gay men without giving a hoot. We even commented to the wife that her husband looks more gay than straight, but he doesn't care!

Btw, its sometimes a great way to meet girls if they think that you are gay, because some girls just don't want that sexual tension!

But I must agree that it can be very uncomfortable for those who are in the gym to relax, even for gay people, so you are not alone, don't worry too much. Sometimes, if you don't paid attention so much and get on with your own stuff, then its probably easier for you.

Kelvin Wong

Unknown said...

moomoo .. you sure it's a tower and not a towel strapped around their lower torso? talk about being uncanny hehehheeeee .. you only see what goes on in the men's locker room. wait till you see what happens in women's changing room. all that boobs dangling around like papayas!!! gosh i'm traumatised for life!!!

Anonymous said...

I think you started off with a biased attitude towards gay men, assuming that they are ever-ready to pounce on and swallow every man they encounter. With that, I really don’t think you are a sophisticated man that you had claimed earlier on, or at least not sophisticated enough. I just wonder if your assumption of gay men being constantly over-sexed stems from a straight man’s innate insatiable sexual cravings for women.

The fact, which you can always be certain about, is that gay men generally won’t not do you “harm”. If so happens that your irresistible cute-ness (I’m assuming) and your seductive macho-ness (I’m assuming, again) make them flock helplessly towards you, just tell them you are not interested, and the story will end there. If you fear that they would gang up to strip and rape you, that would only show that you are fantasizing too much. Gay men only want to find their own partners, for love or lust doesn’t matter. I think they are not really keen in “bending” a homophobic, unsophisticated straight man.

By the way, there are many types of gay men – effeminate ones, manly ones, sex-craze ones, not-interested-in-sex ones, ingenious ones, idiotic ones, kind ones, evil ones… If you are clueless about this, it’s time you make some gay friends.

My applause to Kelvin Wong for making a very good point. Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Appologies. Made a mistake in the first line in my comment above:

Should be "a biased attitude AGAINST gay men", not "a biased attitude towards gay men". Cheers!

moomooman said...

Just need to clarify my stand.

I'm not biased against gay men. Yes, I have very limited interaction with Gay men, outside that gym's changing room. Thus I may not have the necessary knowhow to socialise with them. But I am not biased against them.

This post relates my experience about 5 years ago. I would put it down as say 7, 8 years maybe. Those days and now are very different.

Right now, gay community is growing and people's acceptance of them is growing. Even Goh Chok Tong realises that. However, the acceptance has not reached a level where people will not talk about them or look at them any differently. Even in US, gay marriage is something they talked about.

We should not lie to ourselves and say gay is normal. Because they have yet to reach a level of being consider a social norm.

And any gay should not feel offended that we tend to pick on them because if they feel offended, then who is to help them open up the eyes of the bystander. It's onus is thus on them to change people's perception. Not the other way round.

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