Tuesday, May 23, 2006

there's something about ..... bj and tyler

Aren't I glad they win the Amazing race!

I believe this must be one of the best finale of the Amazing Race series. And What a finale!

Coming from behind by about 7 minutes to Eric and Jeremy, they are supposed to find flags of the countries they visited in the race and place them in the sequence, with these flags scattered among 200 over flags on the field, it's looks like the hippies will not make it.

You may think it's easy. I personally would fail in this task... meaning I'm as stupid as Eric and Jeremy. Other than recognising flags from Japan, USA, England, Italy, Brazil or any soccer power nation flags, I woudn't be able to know the other countries that well.

But the hippies not only were able to identify all the flags in 1 go, but also manage to place them in the exact same sequence in 1 go, beating the Frat boys by about 14 mins!

It's not exactly a close race by most standard. But the popularity of the Hippies is undeniable. They are so free spirited and they know how to have fun. To them, money seems secondary. They enjoy the race and the make the race very enjoyable to watch. This is definitely a big REBOUND for the amazing race franchise. The last family edition is bad... very bad.

And if you think the hippies win because of luck... think again. Yes...luck plays a big part. But they have brains!!! Bj is a graduate of HARVARD!!!! And Tyler graduates from UNI of California!!! Wah Biang!! Dun pray pray!!!

The face on Eric on Jeremy when they arrived at the finishing line is priceless. What sore losers!! They couldn't believe they would lose to the hippies.

But if you think they are enemies, you are wrong! These pics were taken after the race. I think they were having a gay orgy party. One of the picture not posted was x-rated.

Monday, May 22, 2006

there's something about ..... homosexual (update)

Just realised from Wang of Karma that today is World AIDS day.

The timing of my blog on homosexual is uncanny.

there's something about ..... homosexual

I met up with coolcat and family briefly yesterday. And we talked about "gay".

They went to Ikea over the weekend and they saw lots of gay couple hunting for furniture. Coincidentally, yesterday's New Paper carries an article about Homosexual activities in some of these health clubs for men. One "victim" had an orgy in one of these health club and came away with HIV. So this became a conversation piece.

I was surprised to find out about such clubs in Singapore.

Years ago, I was a member of California Fitness. I signed with a male buddy of mine. In those days, it's perfectly normal for 2 guys to go clubbing together, to go workout together, to have a meal together .... all these without a second look from passer bys. It's understood that such outings are normal male-bonding activities.

But now... people view "male-bonding" activities differently. I would think twice about asking my buddy out for a drink and risk being seen as a potential gay. Nowadays gay are getting more and more open and they wouldn't mind chatting you up just to know your sexual orientation.

Now.... back to California Fitness. In those days about 5 years ago, things are more "normal". It appears that single guys go there to check out the single girls... Single girls go there to check out the single guys.

However, things are alot more different in the changing room. I have personally witnessed a young, studious looking chap, like probably a IT programmer kind of look... chatting up another guy near me. As I was changing, I could hear their conversation. As innocent as the conversation is, one could tell is a sizing up conversation.

Not only that, I always see this muscular guy wrapped with a tower walking around in the changing room. While you think it's normal to see a Muscular guy wrapped with a tower in a changing room in a gym, this guy always seems to be in the changing room not doing anything other than getting change. He could be walking here and walking there and he is hardly in a sweat. You wonder what he is up to. Why I took notice? Because he has that "I want to lick you" look which I find disgusting and constantly worried about my modesty. Not that I'm so babelicious that I could attract gays... but I think in those days, it's not easy to find a partner and I think these people lowered their expectation to cast their net wider.

And you felt your modesty is under the higest risk in the Steam Bath Room. In that room, where you have guys with just a tower wrapped round you know what and within 4 walls and with the room full of "steam", you felt you were visually molested all the time.

So I stopped going and basically forgo my membership with almost about 1 year left in the contract.

Anyway, yesterday coolcat mentioned about one outing I have with "wolf", another buddy of mine, many years back. She said that is very brokeback.

It was many many years ago, and I was at the beach with "wolf". We were just hanging out at that beach, sharing a beach mat. I was doing my thing, he was doing his thing. It was a very innocent hang out back in those days.

I guess coolcat knew about it because she ask me where I was and I told her I'm at the beach with "wolf".

And I realised something yesterday.

Did such an openness from gay today, started many years back from this very innocent hangout between 2 buddies, that gay people mistook as a rendevous and they decided that being gay is no big deal and you can be open about it?

Does that mean myself and "wolf" revolutionalised Singapore's gay's society?


Moral of the story.... be careful who you ask to go to the beach with you.... you may change the lives of thousands, if not million.

there's something about ..... idol

Caught Singapore Idol earlier and I saw a new pattern emerging.

It's not Singapore Idol earlier... it's Singapore's Malay Idol, It's Singapore's Indian Idol, It's Singapore's Eurasian Idol. Or in short, Singapore's minority race Idol.

I'm not being racist here. I thought Taufig was the better and deserving winner the last time round. But coming from a typical malay family, Taufig was surely the many inspiration to many Malays and Indians here. Thus a big turnout from this demographics for this competition.

The Chinese? Not to say there aren't any in the show.

Many chinese in Singapore are bilingual. If given a choice, a good chinese singer who could speak in Mandarin would rather take part in the Chinese equivalent of such competition because the stake is much higher. The regional market for chinese pop is bigger and more lucrative.

We have mandarin-singer millionaires like Stephanie Sun, A Do and JJ etc etc. But we don't have a English-singing singer that could consider a big hit, even locally. Taufig's first album may consider to be one of the best-seller. But that is due to the interest of Singapore Idol then, curiousity spills over. I would be interesting to see how his second album would fair.

To some of these Malays and Indians, they see this as their best chance to earn a respectable living in Singapore. They could see how winning this has transformed Taufig's life. And they too want a crack at stardom. I mean... not every one can say they are the spokesperson for "BIG GULP". That is huge!!! That is the first time a in-house beverage of a chain get their own spokesperson!!

As for the show.... I feel it has lost it's appeal. The fact that they have to still feature some of those rejects from the first show, shows that there aren't any interesting characters out there. You have some "clowns" whose aim were to just appear on TV and nothing else. Such acting is passe. I suppose Singapore being a small country, it's hard to find real and funny personalities.

And Jacintha.... if this first show is any indication, she is just as bad as Douglas O. She wanted credibility and she tries too hard to be a Ken. She is a funny woman with wisecracks and there wasn't any from her. Maybe she feels uncomfortable with her ex-husband 2 seats away.


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

there's something about ..... cycle

Things happen in cycles. You can be doing fantastically well one day with golden taps et al or you can be at the bottom of the pits one day, ask TT Durai. This happens in Sports. In Economy. In Karma. Everything.

Thus, I believe in Vicious Cycle.

My line of work require cold-calling though I don't do that as much now as I have a assistant to do that.

Rejection rates for cold-calling is high. For every 10 calls you make, you will have 5 who slams down the phone on you, 3 who scolded you and then slam down the phone on you, 1 who chit chat with you with no intention of doing business and you have that elusive 1 guy who is prepared to listen.

And after being rejected so many times, I have also conformed to norm. Below are my real life examples.

Telemarketeer who is promoting hotel discount card: HI MR MOOMOOMAN. (in capital because their voice is always in high pitch and so enthusiastic) HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Me, recognising that pitch: I'm good until you call.

Tele: ohh... can't be that bad. We are................(sales Pitch that last for 2 minutes).... shall I sign you up...

Me: Sorry. I'm not interested.

Tele: Why? It's very cheap.....

Me: I'm not interested.

Tele: Don't you dine out nowadays...

Me: No. I'm jobless now, please delete my name from your mailing list.

Tele: can you refer your friends to me.

Me: No.

I hang up.


Telemarketeer promising you prizes in broken english/and chinese: hi moomooman, congratulations you have won your self a plasma TV, can I verify some information... did you visit any IT SHOW, FOOD FAIR, WAREHOUSE SALE in either Suntec City or Singapore Expo Last year? (umbrella question to make sure your answer is yes)

Me, laughing: Yes. Wah.. last year "lucky draw", this year then give me har.

Telemarketeer: Why you laugh. Why not. So you want the prize or not?

Me, still trying to contain my laughter: So what do I have to do? Listen to a seminar for 1 hour with my wife at Ngee Ann City issit?

Telemarketeer: Yes. No obligation. After that you can stand to win Plasma TV.

Me: I thought you say I already won?

Telemarketeer: Got condition mah.

Me: So this is timeshare.

Telemarketeer: No.. We are not timeshare. We are a leisure group.

Me, still laughing: Haha.. I see.

Telemarketeer: So you coming or not.

Me: Why don't you guys give me my prize and I leave. I don't attend the seminar lah.

Telemarkeer, sounding impatient: Cannot. So you want to come or not.

Me: No.

Telemarketeer hang up.


Telemarketeer trying to sell you insurance products: Hi Mr Moomooman, I from *** Insurance.

Me: I also a Insurance agent from *** (quote rival company)


Telemarketeer trying to ask you to sell real estate: Hi Moomooman, I from *** company.

Me: I also a real estate agent from *** (quote rival company)


Telemarketeer trying to sign you up for Platinum Credit Card: Hi Moomooman, I from ***, are u keen to sign up *** credit card, free for first year and you can ................Sale Pitch.........?

Me: Got free gift?

Telemarketeer: yes... on top of that.. you will receive.........

Me: Ok lor.


Wednesday, May 10, 2006

there's something about ..... tact

How long does it take for one to offend a client?

Answer: Split second.

Real life example that took place recently:

Lady client: Hi Moomooman

Me who has the client's number stored in my hp: Hi client.. it's been a long time. How have you been?

Lady client: It's been good. In fact I have just given birth to a beautiful daughter.

Me: Wow.. congratulations!!! Was your first one a boy or a girl?

Lady Client: no.. this is our first one.

This is when one should take the cue and move on to other topics... but not this moronic author.

Me: Oh... I thought you were pregnant 2 years ago when we met?

Lady Client said dryly plus probably cussing within: no.


Monday, May 08, 2006

there's something about ..... election

Wah biang... I wonder if I'm breaking any law by talking so much about election in the last 2 weeks.

Anyway, election being a heavily discuss topic in the last 2 weeks, it's been easy to strike a conversation.

Me: who u voting har?

friend: voting is secret lah!

me: secret your head lah... what government means is they won't know who you vote... but you can tell your friend!

friend: is it... ok.. i believe you.... I vote for *Beep Beep*

me: Wah... you siao issit... they where got good?

friend: where got no good... this one got degree one ok!

me: I also got degree what... you vote for me lah!

friend: but you not sexy!

me: nabeh.


Do you know who is the most powderful MP in PAP?

You think is PM LEE? Think again.

He is the MP for Joo Chiat CHAN SOO SEN. He is the MP for our president ok. Dun pray pray.

I wonder if our President got problem with neighbour... does our president go to Mr Chan and ask him to write a MP letter?


Low Thia Kiang said he sent a team to contest in AMK GRC for 3 reasons:
  • To let Cheng San residents to have another chance of voting, given the last time they voted... WP lost narrowly.
  • To let his team of young contestant a exposure.
  • To let the public choose our PM and not to have a walkover PM.

He forgot to list a 4th point.

He belongs to AMK GRC. Thus... he wants to have the chance to vote. Maybe he got a son/daughter also never voted before......

Son/daughter: DADDY... do you think I will have the chance to vote in this coming election?

LTK: Of course not lah... Our GRC is PM LEE... who will come and contest him.

Son/daughter: YOU LOR Daddy....

LTK slaps the son/daughter: YOU WANT DADDY TO LOSE JOB ISSIT!!!

Son/daughter crying...: Maybe you can send those kids in your WP to contest lor. That way.. you can show off the government mah....

LTK: Hmmm.... good point.

I wonder who LTK will vote for?


One of the MP is TEO SER LUCK. The first time I heard the name.... I thought it sounded like one of our so-called beauty queen of the 80s who just can't seems to stop hogging the limelight.

Nabeh. Indeed... he is the brother of TEO SER LEE.

I must say.. Teo Ser Luck is "prettier" than Teo Ser Lee.

At polling day.... Teo Ser Lee is quoted as saying "I'm proud of him... finally someone in the family will have more limelight than me"

I almost puked!!


I understand the price of Pork goes up. Damn Mr Brown and Miyaki for their Podcast.

Bak Chor Mee is now in hot Demand. And it's now almost vogue when you order Bak Chor Mee, you must say "uncle...bak chor mee dah..mai hiam.. mai dee kua"

Naturally Dee Kua or Liver prices fall as a result.

It's also difficult to hire good Bak Chor Mee man now. Not only they must speak english, they must have good reasoning, and they must know how to operate CCTV.


Saturday, May 06, 2006

there's something about ..... results (updated)

I'm attempting to predict the results for today's poll. But why even bother to predict? Well... that's me. I just like to assess, predict, guess, assume, bet, spot, try, estimate etc.

I'm confident of achieving a 3% error for my prediction.

Thought this will be a close contestI would have thou . But Yip failed to live it up.

Prediction: Seng Han Thong, PAP to win 64%.

Results: PAP win 68.27%

My prediction: +4.27% (FAIL)

I would have like to see Sylvia Lim taking on Mah Bow Tan. I rather sacrifice Mah than George Yeo.

Unfortunately, this is not to be. With a team comprising Frankenstein aka tan lead shake, this team has no chance at all. Not even sympathy.

Prediction: PAP to win 82%.

Results: PAP win 68.51%

My prediction: -13.49% FAIL MISERABLY.

This seems like a no-contest. However, it's also not a walk by the park.

Only Chia Ti Lik of WP can boast of quality.. on paper. His rally speech failed to win me over however.

Brandon Siow seems like a nice guy but lack the cutting edge.

The rest... yawwwnnnnnn.

My prediction: PAP to win 70%.

Results: PAP win 63.85%

My prediction: -6.15% FAIL

Steve Chia's colourful past and present will finally caught up with him. Taking sexy photos of the maid will not strike a chord with most families. Not only that, his body language during rallies turn me off. Think he needs pychiatric consultation.

Gan Kim Yong is a newbie to this ward and do lack the familarity factor Steve Chia enjoys.

Prediction: Gan Kim Yong, PAP, win 60%.

Results: PAP win 60.37%

My prediction: BINGO!!!

If this election is to see who has the darkest hair, Ling How Doong will win hairs down... by a big margin.

Unfortunately, this is not the case. People will be turn off by his wig.

Prediction: Dr Teo Ho Pin, PAP, win 72%.

Results: PAP win 77.18%

My prediction: +5.18% FAIL

What promise to be an exciting contest turn out to be a joke.

Sympathy votes will come in, no doubt.

Prediction: PAP to win 75%.

Results: PAP win 76.7%

My prediction: +1.7% PASS

This is a no brainer.

Prediction: PAP to win 85%.

Results: PAP win 68.51%

My prediction: -16.49 FAIL MISERABLY

This young guy look impressive. Very PAP face. In fact Ong Ah Heng got very Ling How doong's face.

Lian Chin Way will be a dark horse in this. But Ong has been around in this ward for a long time. I wish Lian has canvass strongly.

Prediction: Ong Ah Heng to win 58%.
Results: PAP win 65.37%

My prediction: +7.37% FAIL

Another boring contest. No much said about the opposition.

Prediction: Pap to win 80%.

Results: PAP to win 68.72%

My prediction: -11.28% FAIL

Another Yawn.

Prediction: PAP to win 82%.

Results: PAP win 68.48%

My prediction: -13.52% FAIL MISERABLY

On paper, this looks like a good fight. But in reality... the opposition Dr Tan is a joker... and it's not a compliment.

I wonder what kind of Medical Doctor he is... but definitely he look like the Ti Ko kind.

My prediction: Chan Soo Sen to win 78%.

Results:PAP win 65%

My Prediction: -13% FAIL MISERABLY

The opposition is too low profile.

Prediction: PAP to win 84%.

Result: PAP win 69.26%

My prediction: -14.74% FAIL MISERABLY

Eric Low is older. Not as charismatic.

enuff said.

Prediction: Low Thia Kiang to win by improved margin of 58%.

Results: WP win 62.74%

My prediction: +4.74% FAIL

Will this finally be it for Chiam See Tong? I don't think so. Residents do like him, just like they too like Sitoh.

But sentiments is strong for Chiam, and the fact that he did manage to do partial lift upgrading to some residents... will be enough to retain these voters.

My prediction: Chiam See Tong to win by 55%.

Result: SDA win 55%

My prediction: BINGO!!

This is interesting.

Stock of PAP is super high in this GRC for obvious reason. I would rate it high 80s in the beginnning.

Glenda Han's profile kinda swing the very young voters to WP. I would think 5%.

Lim Boon Heng's statement about PAP winning in the high 80s... drop another 5%.

PM Lee "fixing" statement and apologise later. Drop another 5%.

My Prediction: PAP to win 73%.

Result: PAP win 66.13%

My Prediction: -6.87% FAIL

Before Gomez.... the stock of WP in this GRC is high.

After Gomez.... the stock of WP in this GRC drop by 10%.

And it continue to slide.

However, there are many people out there who support Sylvia Lim and is prepared to sacrifice the whole PAP.

Even if WP is voted in, Gomez will not last long in Parliament. Remember, JBJ in Anson? So it doesn't really matter if Gomez enters parliament

These 2 days... you can see the sense of urgency from PAP. They do realise they are facing a real threat here.

This remains to tough to call.

My prediction: PAP to win 52%.

Result: PAP win 56%

My prediction: +4%

Friday, May 05, 2006

there's something about ..... road signs

Jay Walker zone. Horn if necessary.

Do a "n" turn in front. Or... if you like it.. do a inverted U turn.

Upgrading road works ahead. Zig Zag roads expected.

Danger zone. Make a driving mistake and you will be hammered. Say Sorry also no use.

Lighting Zone. Do not hold a hammer when raining.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

there's something about ..... rallies

I fulfilled my promise. I attended the WP rally last night and I intend to go tonight at AMK as well. You see...it's not too difficult to be a MP, I have the quality to do so. I fulfill promises.

Anyway, the WP rally last night present a very different atmosphere than elsewhere. I kinda believe that the WP has more "grassroot" supporters given that at every one night they only have 1 rally than say PAP when they have a few. And these "grassroot" supporters come in full force and vocal. They ended the speaker's each statements with lots of cheers and horns. This surely liven up the whole atmosphere.

However, I also realised most are there to listen to Low Thia Kiang only. I must say he is a charismatic speaker.

Surrounding me are some Ah Pehs who wasn't too keen in listening to what the other candidates got to say. However when Low comes on Stage to Speak, these Ah Pehs behave like they were on Viagra about to hump around. They gets very excited and each time Low make a statement, you see them cheering like a pompom girls.

I don't blame them. He is good. TV footage shows none of his skills of rousing the crowds.

Yesterday he gave a short speech. About 20 mins. However, he wasn't the last speaker. But to the crowds, they came just for Low. The moment Low finishes, the crowd also decide to leave as well.

It seems the crowd's agenda wasn't so much about issues affecting them. They are there to see drama, to watch a show.

How I know?

Cos I'm one of them.

there's something about ..... wayang

This cracks me up. Taken from Mr Brown.

Movie/book titles inspired by James Gomez:

Minority Report: Everybody Runs

Dude, Where's My Form?

Fight Club

I Not Submit

The Wayang

Rebel without a Form

The Form, the Envelope & the Certificate

Sorry Not Enough

The Form, The Liar and the CCTV

Star Wars Episode 4: Return of the Form

My contributions:

Election Department Crasher

There's something about Gomez

When Harry Met Gomez

Missing Impossible: 2

Form Raiders

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

there's something about ..... gomezised

Today I felt like I was gomezised. I almost did a James Gomez.

My wife's name was not in the polling card. Everyone's else names were in it but not hers. And since we are a rule abiding nation, we waited till today to see if a separate one was sent to her instead like what the TV says.

The TV advert says that if you do not receive the polling card by today, you have to call the Election Department.

So I did.

And to my astonishment, they said that my wife need not vote.

Upon checking further, and to my greatest horror, they said she belongs to Bishan/Toa Payoh GRC!!!!

HELLO?!??!? How is that possible. Yes.... we used to stay there... like 4 years ago.

The lady at the Election Department asked whether she has updated her address by 1st Jan this year. I told her... we moved to our present address 4 years ago and the address was updated years ago.

The lady at the Election Department was equally puzzled. She asked to call us back while she do more checks.

She returned the call about 30 mins later and confirmed that my wife's record shows that she belongs to Bishan GRC and that she need not vote.

I ask what if... you guys come back to us later and says that she didn't vote.

The lady says that everything is computerised and I can in fact double check this figure in elections.gov.sg myself.

I almost wanted to do a Gomez and say "Are you sure, and are you going to bear the consequences?"

But I think the word "consequences" is a dirty word now in the Election Department. I also remember that my conversation is also taped and might use against me if I stand for election 5 years down the road. I decided not to pursue. But I thought I should ask for the girl's name.

And to my further astonishment, she said their names cannot be revealed. Win Liao lor. I think this is what happen after what Gomez did to them. They now very scared of revealing names.

Of course, my wife is only glad. She has voted before and think voting is a waste of time.

But I cannot believe that someone so close to me has been excluded because of a admin error. I mean.... THAT COULD BE ME!!! I COULD BE DENIED FOR THE CHANCE TO VOTE!!!

Thank God and WP.

there's something about ..... size

Crowd size at a SDP rally. There are some more people near the stage. By and large, quite easy to move around.

Crowd size at a PAP Rally. See how near I'm to the stage. Somemore I can do a star jump comfortably.

Crowd size at WP rally in Hougang, taken from another blogger. This is scary. Don't say do Star Jump, dig your nose also got problem. You can't even sneeze without your mucus hitting the guy infront.

there's something about ..... traps

Sylvia Lim, WP

Saw this on TV tonight. She said that MM Lee's explanation on GRC borders on racial and sex discrimination. She implied that MM Lee is saying that a woman will not win a SMC. She is challenging that notion.

Cowdunker think she is setting herself a trap.

Why did she not come forward and stand for election in a SMC?

Chiam See Tong, SDA

2 in 1 concept. Have the opposition party in Parliament and yet the losing PAP candidate will still continue to provide grassroots activities and help the residents.

Mah Bow Tan said voters should then vote for PAP as they would receive lots of goodies like heavily subsidies lift ungrading and many more, and the losing opposition incumbent will then still be a NMP and can still voice out in Parliament.

Chiam retorted that Mah didn't know what he is saying. As a NMP and thus no constituency, how can Chiam helps the residents?

Cowdunker think Chiam makes a wrong retort. Sitoh will help the residents for him.

Goh Chok Tong, PAP

He proposed today that if Hougang residents want Upgrading, Government can help if Low Thia Kiang again become the MP for the ward.

Cowdunker thinks Eric Low can kiss his hope goodbye.

Monday, May 01, 2006

there's something about ..... gomez

Yes. I do agree with Low Thia Kiang that PAP is making a mountain out of a molehill.

Gomez simply forgot to submit an application form that is not needed in the first place as the WP has already another minority candidate in the Aljunied GRC.

I also agree with Low Thia Kiang that this is not a honesty issue.

This is a incompetent issue. Gomez is simply incompetent at all. If you can't handle administration of such level of importance, you can forget about running a town council......... reception counter. They have too many application forms at the reception counter.

That's it. This guys is simply not competent at all and should be removed.

If a replacement is allowed like a ball game, I would definitely remove Gomez to shut PAP up.