Tuesday, April 29, 2008

there's something about ..... nipple

I will know the sex of my baby tomorrow.

The last 2 weeks were all about educated guesses on the sex of the baby. All sort of theories surfaced ranging from genes, ancient calendar, medicine, appearance, rice, son's guess, guts and a new topic today... nipples.


My parent say this would be a girl based on the family tree sequence.

Ancient calendar:

A piece of calendar says this would be a boy.


My chinese sinseh says this would be a boy.


My maid says that this would be a girl because my wife's appearance did not change much. As in still more feminine, thus a girl.


We counted rice and we lost count.

Son's guess:

When my son knew about the baby, he said "di di".


My client's saw me and say I would have 2 boys.


My neighbour says that if the first child's nipple is protruding, the next one is a boy, and if it's "inverted" nipple, it's a girl. Ultimate!!!!! And you know what is the ultimate thing... I actually go and check my son's nipple!?!?!?!? Yes... I just need to confirm it. It's "inverted", so the next one is a girl.

Tomorrow we will know.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

there's something about ..... levels

In my opinion, there are 3 levels of Gek Sim. (heart pain, heart ache)

Gek Sim level 1 (lowest): You buy 4D 7778 but never Pak and Top prize is 7787. Second Prize is 7877. Third Prize is 8777. All in the same day.

Gek Sim Level 2 (middle): You met a new girl/boy. You decided that she/he is a marriageable material. You found your dream girl/boy. Only... she/he is gay.

Gek Sim Level 3 (the worst): You wake up in the middle of the night to watch Champions League Football, knowing very well that the next day you are very busy with work, but it's a semi-final match and you can't miss and you want to enjoy the "live" action, you saw your team leading 1-0 with perhaps 20 seconds to go before the end, and your team concede a late goal, not scored by the opponent but an OWN goal, and a Silly OWN Goal! And after that, you cannot sleep till dawn.

there's something about ..... 2 urinals

This is really puzzling.

Yes. To have a toilet cubicle without a toilet bowl but urinals.


Just think... it's almost like having 2 toilet bowls in 1 cubicle. WHY?

Perhaps you and your buddy likes to shit and talk cock at the same time. So you design a 2-toilet bowl cubicle for buddies.

How about 2 urinals?

Maybe you like to go toilet with your buddy and both of you just go urinate side by side, which is still ok. But why cubicle? In what situation would 2 person (friend or no friend) use the same cubicle to urinate and have the door close?


Friend brokeback 1 to Friend brokeback 2: let's go Pang Jio.

Friend brokeback 2: Ok. but I love to pang jio naked, and I love to also see you pang jio naked too.

Friend brokeback 1: Wah... like that... very difficult leh...

Friend brokeback 2: Where got difficult... Whitley Detention Centre got 2 urinals Cubicle one... very privacy one. We can also play who can shoot the furthest from the ledge.

Just puzzling.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

there's something about ..... urinal

I am appalled.

We have high-flyers in the Commission of Inquiry and they didn't notice a unusual situation that was the crux of this whole Mas Selamat escape.

It's not the windows.

It's not the Grilles.

It's not the Ledge.

It's not the windows Handle.

It's ..... Where the Hell in the World do you need to house a urinal INSIDE A CUBICLE?!!!??!??!? It's common sense that ALL urinals are built OPENLY. It's not like you are shitting. Why is there a design to allow Urinal to be within a cubicle?!?!?!?!? With a Door to close even?!??!?!?!?

If they have designed the Toilet like ALL OTHER TOILETS WORLDWIDE, they wouldn't have an escaped terrorists.


Monday, April 21, 2008

that's something about ..... crocs

Yes. I admit.

I entered into a Crocs shop over the weekend.

Yes. I admit.

My wife bought a crocs working shoe, not your big head with holes type.

Yes. I admit.

I would rather be caught dead than wearing a crocs. Those big head with holes type.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs can be comfortable but I have not tried.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs is one phenonmenon I can't explain. Paying Top $ for a rubber shoes that at most times look ridiculous. Sorry friends.... it's just me.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs newer designs are rather desirable. Those sandles look alikes, monk's shoes looksalikes and those ladies working shoes.


I will still not buy them until I strike 4D.

there's something about ..... erp car parks

I always hate those ERP car parks systems. The fact is you never know how much value is enough in your cashcards when you enter into any carparks. $10 might be more than enough in shopping malls but not enough in CBD car parks.

You can't keep tracks of your time spent at one place and you can't keep tracks of all different charges everywhere else. It's just a pain.

Unusual things always fall on me. ALWAYS. NABEHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I was at VIVO city yesterday.

Knowing that my cashcard value is low, I decided to topup my cashcard.

The first machine I went to on B1, while working, couldn't get a dialing tone out. I keep having cashcard error as a result.

So I went down to B2 of the same lobby. The cashcard machine has a "out of order" sign on it.


You know what this means.... have you got any idea how F#$@ BIG Vivo City is!!!!

Do you know that the next cashcard machine is another lobby away.... in walking terms...... half way through VIVO city!!!!??!?!??!?!?!

If you know VIVO city well, my carpark lobby is the one nearest to CROCS shop. And I have to walk ALL THE WAY to the the Main Lobby where the MRT is. That is almosts HALF way into VIVO City!!!

But what to do. Trying to locate an ATM machine in Vivo City is just as bad. And so I take the walk to the middle lobby.

At B1 of that lobby, the cashcard topup machine is just as KUKU!!! It couldn't read my cashcard and kept telling me that I have inserted wrongly. I mean there are just 4 possible ways of inserting the cashcard and all 4 are wrong!!?!?!?

How Sway can you get!!!!

Finally I managed to top up at B2 of that same lobby. AFTER 4 F%$! Tries!!! FOUR!!!! FOUR!!!!

It's like those blonde jokes "how many blondes needed to change 1 light bulb?"


And my misery didn't end there.

It ended when I realised my original balance in my cashcard would have been sufficient for me to get out of the Car Park!!!


Sunday, April 20, 2008

there's something about ..... T3

Not the movie Terminator 3 but Airport Terminal 3.

Like most Singaporean, I was curious about the hype on T3. I read that they did up T3 with a "big" shopping mall so that locals could go there more often to do their shopping as well as makan.

And so I decided to go shopping at T3.

Before I discuss that, the road signage sucks!! Or is it just me?!

They don't give you advance notice on when to turn into T3. And when they finally give you a notice, it says :

Terminal 3
Airport Hotel

I saw this probably just about 15 seconds before I have to make a decision whether to turn or not.

15 seconds!!!!!

It's simply not enough for me to decide whether the sign says:

1.)Terminal 3 AND/OR Airport Hotel

2.) Terminal 3 Airport Hotel

And so I decided that perhaps it means the "Airport Hotel at T3" and so I drove on thinking that they would be another entrance to "Terminal 3". NINABEH... I realised that driving on go towards T1!!!

That aside.

I was looking out for a big shopping experience. It was indeed BIG.

The experience is almost as big as shopping in say Capitol Theatre. In fact, I think TEN Mile Junction provides a better shopping experience. In bloody fact, I think Ang Mo Kio/Bedok/Toa Payoh Central provides a better shopping experience.

I was like ... "it's that it?" What big Shopping Mall?

They have however a Foodcourt that is as big as anywhere you have seen in major Shopping Centre.

Their food is as tasty as those that I cook myself, namely maggi Mee. If I eat a certain brand of Cup Noodles, it's alot more tasty that those that we ordered at the foodcourt.

Am I being fair to the hawkers there?

I dunno. Let me see....

I ordered Carrot Cake.... taste Bad.

I ordered Fried Kuey Tiao (same store).... taste bad.

The chicken Rice looks disgusting. (To be fair, it might just be tasteful)

I ordered Indonesian BBQ Chicken.... Taste bad.

I ordered Chap Chai Rice for my maid.... my maid say taste bad. And my maid eat EVERYTHING and she didn't even finish this plate.

Maybe I just damn unlucky to order bad food. And it's not a total representation of the foodcourt.

But Where got so Sway one!!!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

there's something about ..... mrt

With the ever-increasing petrol costs and the effects of Global Warming already in Singapore, I have decided to take more MRT for my appointments nowadays, rather than driving.

And I realised my competitive nature has waned. I'm not too sure if I was getting older thus slower, or in the last 10 years or so, train commuters have become more aggressive.

Twice out of 3 times yesterday, I losed out on a seat because someone further away from the seat than I am, rush in and sit down.

And the worse is that I was actually "getting ready" to sit, clearly an obvious body language to tell everyone surrounding me that the seat was mine. But 2 ladies beat me to it. Nabeh. 2 ugly aunties beat me to it. Yes... UGLY!!!! Anyone who snatch my seat is Ugly, nevermind if you are Jaymee of Contender Asia.

And the worse worst, that 2 times happend in the same train trip within 2 stations apart. I am like the laughing stock in that cabin. Nabeh!!! I could almost hear whispers from other commuters saying that I am a "loser" like Zidov of Contender Asia.

Damn it. Is it so difficult to do my part for the EARTH?

There's something about ..... contender

Contender Asia reminds me of WWE.

1.) Half naked man. Check.

2.) Ring. Check.

3.) Ringside drama. Check.

4.) Beautiful babe like Jaymee. Uncheck. WWE got ugly women.

5.) Elimination round like Royal Rumble. Check.

6.) Audience who cheer. Check.

7.) Audience who cheer on cue. Uncheck.

8.)A participant who pregnanted an ex-celebrity-or-so-she-think-she-is. Check. read story

Great Show!

there's something about ..... tax

What a week! Aren't I glad tax submission is over! It's the time of the year where the blues kick in. I supposed the problem lies within myself.

I don't tax early, and I don't see why I shouldn't do so. I mean... it's supposedly tax for last year and I have like 3 full months to prepare for it.

But Singaporean being Singaporean. Unless it's for free rice, hello kitty limited editions, star wars limited editions, Halo 3 launch, queue for Primary School entry..... we or rather I don't aim to be the first with taxation where I see a loss rather a benefit.

But I didn't realise I would wait till the last minute to file as well. And I don't mean the 15th Dateline, I meant the 18th dateline e-filing.

And how I hate doing it.

After spending time and effort finding my policies and calculating my Iife Insurance Premium that I have paid for the year, and included them in the "reliefs", I was told I don't qualify if I have contributed CPF. Nabeh!! Why can't they say so earlier.

After spending time calculating my maid's levy that I have paid, and included them in it, I was told only working mum qualify for the relief.

And of course, alot of others.

The whole point about taxation is to make it easy for you to include your earnings so that they can tax you easily as well but to make it hard for you to figure out what your reliefts are so that you will be frustrated and you ended up being taxed more. Damn it!!

I realised the Blues on Tax Filing is not so much about the tax that you have to pay. Afterall, like the saying goes, "The only thing is life that is certain is Tax and Death". We are among the lowest Tax Country and I shouldn't complain much.

The blues, I think, comes from the Relief ironically. I mean... what if I miss out on a certain relief which I am entitled to and I ended up paying more? What if I added something else which I thought I am entitled to but I was wrong and IRAS charged me for under-declaring?

Why should only working mums have maid's levy relief and not working husband? Isn't it ironic that a maid is being employed and paid by the husband to relief the wife's "job" of taking care of the household and end of the day, the wife did not do anything and yet benefited a "relief".

And why must we calculate, we pay maid's levy directly to Government. They should be able to calculate and inserted it into you "relief" section by default.

I complain too much sometimes.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

there's something about ..... trilogy

... of The Reds. (Liverpool Vs Arsenal)

Yesterday's match is one hell of a game. The mood swings is so drastic and extreme, I felt like a woman yesterday.

13th Minute.
Arsenal Scored. 0-1
My mood: Low (Nabeh).

30th Minute.
Liverpool Scored. 1-1
My mood: High (YEAH!!)

69th Minute
Liverpool Scored. 2-1
My mood: ultra High. (YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

84th Minute
Arsenal scored. 2-2
My mood: Ultra Low, rock bottom. (Nabeh CB ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.)

85th Minute
Penalty given to liverpool.
My mood: Ultra High. maximum swing Occurs(YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!)

86th Minute
Before the penalty Kick.
My mood: Super Nervous. (praying)

86th Minute
Liverpool scored: 3-2
My mood:Ultra Ultra High. (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!)

86th minute to 90th minute
My mood: tentative. Nervous. (praying)

91th Minute
Liverpool scored 4-2.
My mood: Sense of Relief.

Why Liverpool will win Champions League this year.

1.) Just like in 2005, Everton is strong and is chasing for 4th spot.
2.) Just like in 2005, Liverpool need to win the last group match before advancing to QF.
3.) Just like in 2005, Liverpool semi-final opponent is Chelsea.
4.) Just like in 2005, I am going to be a father again this year.
5.) Just like in 2005, I changed my car.
6.) Just like in 2005, I am still so good looking.

Monday, April 07, 2008

there's something about ..... apprentice LA

Caught Apprentice LA last night.

Simply love the show. It's one of the 3 shows I couldn't wait to watch every year, together with Amazing Race and Lost.

Somehow, having the show in LA is not as exciting as NY.

I always find it "cute" when the contestant got fired and he has to take a NY cab with advert advertising "YAHOO JOBS".

No more Cabs this time round.

BUT... still hell of a show!!!

there's something about ..... stupidity

So Li Jia Wei and Ronald Susilo's relationship has ended.

Why am I not surprise? It's almost as predictable as finding chicken in chicken rice. Already couples who speak the same language can end up divorcing, how about couples who don't speak each other's language? Unless of course, your bride comes from Vietnam.

But now, it's easy to know why they break up. It's not so much about communication. It's stupidity.

Yes. Ronald is stupid.

Stupid to buy a car but put it under her name, even when she don't drive.

Stupid to contribute to a condominium but didn't have his name included, assuming that they would get married eventually. Plain Stupid. Add a name will die issit. 2 names also same price, 1 name also same price, Of course.. add 2 names lah.

Stupid to get this whole story publicize in our Main Papers to show us how Stupid he is.

Yes... it also shows how mecenary Jia Wei is. But again... anyone can tell you that Chinese Girls are smart. Very Smart. How else is she able to convince you to buy a condominium under her name solely. Jia Wei being smart and mecenary is almost seeable.

Ronald being stupid is a disgrace to Man. Really.

I want to say that I sympathise with Ronald. But I can't get myself to do it.