there's something about ..... suicide

My friend called me today to share with me his experience about witnessing a suicide. The suicidee jumped off the building to her death. Rather instantly considering it was from a tall building.

As a responsible civilian, he called 995 to report the suicide.

Just about 5 minutes, he received a call from the medic in the Ambulance, probably on their way to the scene.

My friend was asked 2 very crucial questions. VERY CRUCIAL.

1.) Is the person alive?

2.) It is a man or a woman?

WTF?!??!?!?!?!

I told you it's CRUCIAL.

there's something about ..... trans

I pity Ronaldo. Not because he pick up the prostitutes that were actually transvetites.

I pity him because he actually find them attractive enough to want to pay for their sexual services.

Most trans we have come acrossed especially those at Bangkok or even Changi were more beautiful than most women on the street. And if you mistook them for real women, we could blame you?

But these 2?

Ok... maybe there were valued for money... perhaps 3 for the price of 1... (Ronaldo was caught with 3 of them)... But STILL??!??!?!?!?!?

there's something about ..... sumiko

I have been reading Sumiko Tan's column since it started. I dunno why I am attracted to it. Maybe it's the voyeurism nature where you want to read into someone's life, or perhaps the column whined so much you feel that you are just like that.

Anyway, 2 weeks back, Sumiko was writing about breakup between Ronald and Jia wei. She wrote that there are many reasons why couples break up. One of the reasons is :

You weren’t really that into each other in the first place and the reality sinks in after you have exhausted the early bouts of physical desire.

Isn't that a cool statement! You never know there are another way of writing :

You weren’t really that into each other in the first place and the reality sinks in after you are sick of making love with each other.

That is good writing. Not since Adrian Tan's Teenage Textbook have I seen something so poetic.

there's something about ..... CL and nipple

I still got the hangover over the Champions League loss.

I was so sure we will advance to the Finals after Torres scored the equalizer. I was also sure that if we indeed advanced to the Finals, I will name my son Torres.

And the nipple theory.... It's ABSURD!!!

there's something about ..... nipple

I will know the sex of my baby tomorrow.

The last 2 weeks were all about educated guesses on the sex of the baby. All sort of theories surfaced ranging from genes, ancient calendar, medicine, appearance, rice, son's guess, guts and a new topic today... nipples.

Genes:

My parent say this would be a girl based on the family tree sequence.

Ancient calendar:

A piece of calendar says this would be a boy.

Medicine:

My chinese sinseh says this would be a boy.

Appearance:

My maid says that this would be a girl because my wife's appearance did not change much. As in still more feminine, thus a girl.

Rice:

We counted rice and we lost count.

Son's guess:

When my son knew about the baby, he said "di di".

Guts:

My client's saw me and say I would have 2 boys.

Nipples:

My neighbour says that if the first child's nipple is protruding, the next one is a boy, and if it's "inverted" nipple, it's a girl. Ultimate!!!!! And you know what is the ultimate thing... I actually go and check my son's nipple!?!?!?!? Yes... I just need to confirm it. It's "inverted", so the next one is a girl.

Tomorrow we will know.

there's something about ..... levels

In my opinion, there are 3 levels of Gek Sim. (heart pain, heart ache)

Gek Sim level 1 (lowest): You buy 4D 7778 but never Pak and Top prize is 7787. Second Prize is 7877. Third Prize is 8777. All in the same day.

Gek Sim Level 2 (middle): You met a new girl/boy. You decided that she/he is a marriageable material. You found your dream girl/boy. Only... she/he is gay.

Gek Sim Level 3 (the worst): You wake up in the middle of the night to watch Champions League Football, knowing very well that the next day you are very busy with work, but it's a semi-final match and you can't miss and you want to enjoy the "live" action, you saw your team leading 1-0 with perhaps 20 seconds to go before the end, and your team concede a late goal, not scored by the opponent but an OWN goal, and a Silly OWN Goal! And after that, you cannot sleep till dawn.

there's something about ..... 2 urinals

This is really puzzling.

Yes. To have a toilet cubicle without a toilet bowl but urinals.

Not just 1 BUT 2. TWO. TWO URINALS IN 1 CUBICLE. WHY?

Just think... it's almost like having 2 toilet bowls in 1 cubicle. WHY?

Perhaps you and your buddy likes to shit and talk cock at the same time. So you design a 2-toilet bowl cubicle for buddies.

How about 2 urinals?

Maybe you like to go toilet with your buddy and both of you just go urinate side by side, which is still ok. But why cubicle? In what situation would 2 person (friend or no friend) use the same cubicle to urinate and have the door close?

Perhaps:

Friend brokeback 1 to Friend brokeback 2: let's go Pang Jio.

Friend brokeback 2: Ok. but I love to pang jio naked, and I love to also see you pang jio naked too.

Friend brokeback 1: Wah... like that... very difficult leh...

Friend brokeback 2: Where got difficult... Whitley Detention Centre got 2 urinals Cubicle one... very privacy one. We can also play who can shoot the furthest from the ledge.

Just puzzling.

there's something about ..... urinal

I am appalled.

We have high-flyers in the Commission of Inquiry and they didn't notice a unusual situation that was the crux of this whole Mas Selamat escape.

It's not the windows.

It's not the Grilles.

It's not the Ledge.

It's not the windows Handle.

It's ..... Where the Hell in the World do you need to house a urinal INSIDE A CUBICLE?!!!??!??!? It's common sense that ALL urinals are built OPENLY. It's not like you are shitting. Why is there a design to allow Urinal to be within a cubicle?!?!?!?!? With a Door to close even?!??!?!?!?

If they have designed the Toilet like ALL OTHER TOILETS WORLDWIDE, they wouldn't have an escaped terrorists.

It's so SILLY AND INCREDIBLE!!

that's something about ..... crocs

Yes. I admit.

I entered into a Crocs shop over the weekend.

Yes. I admit.

My wife bought a crocs working shoe, not your big head with holes type.

Yes. I admit.

I would rather be caught dead than wearing a crocs. Those big head with holes type.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs can be comfortable but I have not tried.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs is one phenonmenon I can't explain. Paying Top $ for a rubber shoes that at most times look ridiculous. Sorry friends.... it's just me.

Yes. I admit.

Crocs newer designs are rather desirable. Those sandles look alikes, monk's shoes looksalikes and those ladies working shoes.

No.

I will still not buy them until I strike 4D.

there's something about ..... erp car parks

I always hate those ERP car parks systems. The fact is you never know how much value is enough in your cashcards when you enter into any carparks. $10 might be more than enough in shopping malls but not enough in CBD car parks.

You can't keep tracks of your time spent at one place and you can't keep tracks of all different charges everywhere else. It's just a pain.

Unusual things always fall on me. ALWAYS. NABEHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

I was at VIVO city yesterday.

Knowing that my cashcard value is low, I decided to topup my cashcard.

The first machine I went to on B1, while working, couldn't get a dialing tone out. I keep having cashcard error as a result.

So I went down to B2 of the same lobby. The cashcard machine has a "out of order" sign on it.

KNN!!!

You know what this means.... have you got any idea how F#$@ BIG Vivo City is!!!!

Do you know that the next cashcard machine is another lobby away.... in walking terms...... half way through VIVO city!!!!??!?!??!?!?!

If you know VIVO city well, my carpark lobby is the one nearest to CROCS shop. And I have to walk ALL THE WAY to the the Main Lobby where the MRT is. That is almosts HALF way into VIVO City!!!

But what to do. Trying to locate an ATM machine in Vivo City is just as bad. And so I take the walk to the middle lobby.

At B1 of that lobby, the cashcard topup machine is just as KUKU!!! It couldn't read my cashcard and kept telling me that I have inserted wrongly. I mean there are just 4 possible ways of inserting the cashcard and all 4 are wrong!!?!?!?

How Sway can you get!!!!

Finally I managed to top up at B2 of that same lobby. AFTER 4 F%$! Tries!!! FOUR!!!! FOUR!!!!

It's like those blonde jokes "how many blondes needed to change 1 light bulb?"

NABEH!!!!

And my misery didn't end there.

It ended when I realised my original balance in my cashcard would have been sufficient for me to get out of the Car Park!!!

NABEH CB!!!

there's something about ..... T3

Not the movie Terminator 3 but Airport Terminal 3.

Like most Singaporean, I was curious about the hype on T3. I read that they did up T3 with a "big" shopping mall so that locals could go there more often to do their shopping as well as makan.

And so I decided to go shopping at T3.

Before I discuss that, the road signage sucks!! Or is it just me?!

They don't give you advance notice on when to turn into T3. And when they finally give you a notice, it says :

Terminal 3
Airport Hotel

I saw this probably just about 15 seconds before I have to make a decision whether to turn or not.

15 seconds!!!!!

It's simply not enough for me to decide whether the sign says:

1.)Terminal 3 AND/OR Airport Hotel

2.) Terminal 3 Airport Hotel

And so I decided that perhaps it means the "Airport Hotel at T3" and so I drove on thinking that they would be another entrance to "Terminal 3". NINABEH... I realised that driving on go towards T1!!!

That aside.

I was looking out for a big shopping experience. It was indeed BIG.

The experience is almost as big as shopping in say Capitol Theatre. In fact, I think TEN Mile Junction provides a better shopping experience. In bloody fact, I think Ang Mo Kio/Bedok/Toa Payoh Central provides a better shopping experience.

I was like ... "it's that it?" What big Shopping Mall?

They have however a Foodcourt that is as big as anywhere you have seen in major Shopping Centre.

Their food is as tasty as those that I cook myself, namely maggi Mee. If I eat a certain brand of Cup Noodles, it's alot more tasty that those that we ordered at the foodcourt.

Am I being fair to the hawkers there?

I dunno. Let me see....

I ordered Carrot Cake.... taste Bad.

I ordered Fried Kuey Tiao (same store).... taste bad.

The chicken Rice looks disgusting. (To be fair, it might just be tasteful)

I ordered Indonesian BBQ Chicken.... Taste bad.

I ordered Chap Chai Rice for my maid.... my maid say taste bad. And my maid eat EVERYTHING and she didn't even finish this plate.

Maybe I just damn unlucky to order bad food. And it's not a total representation of the foodcourt.

But Where got so Sway one!!!

there's something about ..... mrt

With the ever-increasing petrol costs and the effects of Global Warming already in Singapore, I have decided to take more MRT for my appointments nowadays, rather than driving.

And I realised my competitive nature has waned. I'm not too sure if I was getting older thus slower, or in the last 10 years or so, train commuters have become more aggressive.

Twice out of 3 times yesterday, I losed out on a seat because someone further away from the seat than I am, rush in and sit down.

And the worse is that I was actually "getting ready" to sit, clearly an obvious body language to tell everyone surrounding me that the seat was mine. But 2 ladies beat me to it. Nabeh. 2 ugly aunties beat me to it. Yes... UGLY!!!! Anyone who snatch my seat is Ugly, nevermind if you are Jaymee of Contender Asia.

And the worse worst, that 2 times happend in the same train trip within 2 stations apart. I am like the laughing stock in that cabin. Nabeh!!! I could almost hear whispers from other commuters saying that I am a "loser" like Zidov of Contender Asia.

Damn it. Is it so difficult to do my part for the EARTH?

There's something about ..... contender

Contender Asia reminds me of WWE.

1.) Half naked man. Check.

2.) Ring. Check.

3.) Ringside drama. Check.

4.) Beautiful babe like Jaymee. Uncheck. WWE got ugly women.

5.) Elimination round like Royal Rumble. Check.

6.) Audience who cheer. Check.

7.) Audience who cheer on cue. Uncheck.

8.)A participant who pregnanted an ex-celebrity-or-so-she-think-she-is. Check. read story

Great Show!

there's something about ..... tax

What a week! Aren't I glad tax submission is over! It's the time of the year where the blues kick in. I supposed the problem lies within myself.

I don't tax early, and I don't see why I shouldn't do so. I mean... it's supposedly tax for last year and I have like 3 full months to prepare for it.

But Singaporean being Singaporean. Unless it's for free rice, hello kitty limited editions, star wars limited editions, Halo 3 launch, queue for Primary School entry..... we or rather I don't aim to be the first with taxation where I see a loss rather a benefit.

But I didn't realise I would wait till the last minute to file as well. And I don't mean the 15th Dateline, I meant the 18th dateline e-filing.

And how I hate doing it.

After spending time and effort finding my policies and calculating my Iife Insurance Premium that I have paid for the year, and included them in the "reliefs", I was told I don't qualify if I have contributed CPF. Nabeh!! Why can't they say so earlier.

After spending time calculating my maid's levy that I have paid, and included them in it, I was told only working mum qualify for the relief.

And of course, alot of others.

The whole point about taxation is to make it easy for you to include your earnings so that they can tax you easily as well but to make it hard for you to figure out what your reliefts are so that you will be frustrated and you ended up being taxed more. Damn it!!

I realised the Blues on Tax Filing is not so much about the tax that you have to pay. Afterall, like the saying goes, "The only thing is life that is certain is Tax and Death". We are among the lowest Tax Country and I shouldn't complain much.

The blues, I think, comes from the Relief ironically. I mean... what if I miss out on a certain relief which I am entitled to and I ended up paying more? What if I added something else which I thought I am entitled to but I was wrong and IRAS charged me for under-declaring?

Why should only working mums have maid's levy relief and not working husband? Isn't it ironic that a maid is being employed and paid by the husband to relief the wife's "job" of taking care of the household and end of the day, the wife did not do anything and yet benefited a "relief".

And why must we calculate, we pay maid's levy directly to Government. They should be able to calculate and inserted it into you "relief" section by default.

I complain too much sometimes.

there's something about ..... trilogy

... of The Reds. (Liverpool Vs Arsenal)

Yesterday's match is one hell of a game. The mood swings is so drastic and extreme, I felt like a woman yesterday.

13th Minute.
Arsenal Scored. 0-1
My mood: Low (Nabeh).

30th Minute.
Liverpool Scored. 1-1
My mood: High (YEAH!!)

69th Minute
Liverpool Scored. 2-1
My mood: ultra High. (YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

84th Minute
Arsenal scored. 2-2
My mood: Ultra Low, rock bottom. (Nabeh CB ARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.)

85th Minute
Penalty given to liverpool.
My mood: Ultra High. maximum swing Occurs(YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!!!!)

86th Minute
Before the penalty Kick.
My mood: Super Nervous. (praying)

86th Minute
Liverpool scored: 3-2
My mood:Ultra Ultra High. (YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!!)

86th minute to 90th minute
My mood: tentative. Nervous. (praying)

91th Minute
Liverpool scored 4-2.
My mood: Sense of Relief.

Why Liverpool will win Champions League this year.

1.) Just like in 2005, Everton is strong and is chasing for 4th spot.
2.) Just like in 2005, Liverpool need to win the last group match before advancing to QF.
3.) Just like in 2005, Liverpool semi-final opponent is Chelsea.
4.) Just like in 2005, I am going to be a father again this year.
5.) Just like in 2005, I changed my car.
6.) Just like in 2005, I am still so good looking.

there's something about ..... apprentice LA

Caught Apprentice LA last night.

Simply love the show. It's one of the 3 shows I couldn't wait to watch every year, together with Amazing Race and Lost.

Somehow, having the show in LA is not as exciting as NY.

I always find it "cute" when the contestant got fired and he has to take a NY cab with advert advertising "YAHOO JOBS".

No more Cabs this time round.

BUT... still hell of a show!!!

there's something about ..... stupidity

So Li Jia Wei and Ronald Susilo's relationship has ended.

Why am I not surprise? It's almost as predictable as finding chicken in chicken rice. Already couples who speak the same language can end up divorcing, how about couples who don't speak each other's language? Unless of course, your bride comes from Vietnam.

But now, it's easy to know why they break up. It's not so much about communication. It's stupidity.

Yes. Ronald is stupid.

Stupid to buy a car but put it under her name, even when she don't drive.

Stupid to contribute to a condominium but didn't have his name included, assuming that they would get married eventually. Plain Stupid. Add a name will die issit. 2 names also same price, 1 name also same price, Of course.. add 2 names lah.

Stupid to get this whole story publicize in our Main Papers to show us how Stupid he is.

Yes... it also shows how mecenary Jia Wei is. But again... anyone can tell you that Chinese Girls are smart. Very Smart. How else is she able to convince you to buy a condominium under her name solely. Jia Wei being smart and mecenary is almost seeable.

Ronald being stupid is a disgrace to Man. Really.

I want to say that I sympathise with Ronald. But I can't get myself to do it.

there's something about ..... earth hour

I also got participate in Earth hour.

Everyone of us went out, nobody was home during earth hour.

there's something about ..... branding

The power of Branding.

If you think Apple is the king of branding.... think again.

That honour belongs to .......

1.) Pampers. Ever wonder why we always called Diapers "pampers" and not "diapers" or for that matter, any other brands?

2.) Kotex. Ever wonder why we most times called Sanitary napkins "kotex" and not ... other names?

there's something about ..... pacmat

Found in TALKINGCOCK.com


They created a pacman game out of Mas Selamat. It's quite funny. Every level, the number of policeman increase. Not only that, it increases by rank... up to PM Lee.

And it's even more hilarious when you are caught. Try it.

there's something about ..... fugitive saga

The Mas Selamat Saga has become more of an "after thought" now. Taxi Stands within CBD is a bigger news than a terrorist at large within Singapore, or so the government chosed to believe.

TV news decided that 4 Prostitutes murdered in HK is a much bigger news than a terrorist at large in Singapore. Afterall, there is a casualty rate to begin with, not one but 4.

Entrepeneurs and enterprizes have decided to ride on the Mas Selamat saga to boost their company's awareness. A debt-collector firm has decided to join in on the Mas Selamat hunt. The spokesman for the company said that while their debt-collectors went on with their job of debt-collecting around the island, they should also lookout for MAS SELAMAT. The spokesman said "it's their National duty" to do so. This piece of news deem worthy by our local broadcasters.

Wonderful. What's next?

Maybe a Rubbish-Collector company could come out to do the same. Ask all their Blaga to look out for Mas Selamat.

Or perhaps a Courier service company delivering mails.

Or Real Estate Company telling all their agents to look out for Mas Selamat when they go Door Knocking to prospect for business. Perhaps someone is housing Mas Selamat.

How I love our Local News Network. Constantly giving us new insights into the World. Great Stuffs!!

there's something about ..... WKS

This is what WONG KAN SENG Said:

1.) Database containing information on abandon buildings "had proven useful in the search for MAS Selamat".

2.) Police took 24 hours to identify 121 empty buildings and searched them all in 2 days.

3.) Also helped police locked down areas with roadblocks.

4.) Initiative that pays off include COMMUNITY ENGAGEMENT PROGRAMME that "contributed to the rapid mobilisation of community support".

5.) CNB has honed its intelligence gathering and investigative skills to put its "ear to the ground to pick up any leads".

6.) SCDF has deployed powerful searchlights to aid the police in their sweeps after dark.

What WONG KAN SENG did not say:

"HOW COME UNTIL NOW STILL CANNOT FIND MAS SELAMAT?"

there's something about ..... mutant

This is a post about cars. Cars belonging to my immediate relative. Immediate relative that I meet once a week.

This relative of mine, plus other similar relatives, love their cars. They think nothing about maintaining the innocence look to the car, the pure beauty of the car, even if they are brand new. To them, it's about a statement of their lifestyles, their attitute in life.

Some people may call that lifestyles "AH BENG". But to them, it's a form of art, very much like a tattoo nowadays to the many youngsters in Singapore.

And so the mutation of the car take place. While it's a common sight on cars like HONDA, SUBARU or MITSUBISHI, the mutation was done on a very innocent, very family, very cute, very nice little car.






Anyway, recently I realised that perhaps my this immediate relative was encouraged by the distributors to do so. Or perhaps he was encouraged by my other immediate relatives to do so. Or perhaps he was encouraged by SPORTSCENTRE on ESPN which was sponsored by TOYOTA.

Or perhaps, he take the slogan too literally.

there's something about ..... xbox360

I'm a late adopter of gadgets. I will never be among the first to buy anything IT related. My first DVD player was a free gift because of something else I bought. I totally passed over the LD player era, the VCD player era. So it was a case of VCR player jumping to DVD player. As of today, I 'm still using my VCR player concurrently with my hubstation.

And so finally I bought my xbox 360 from the IT show. My original xbox was again a gift and that has changed my life.

After waiting for price to fall, which ended up fruitless, I have decided to just buy it.

And mine.... what a fabulous gadget!!

The wireless controller was way cool. Xbox Live was even cooler!! I bought a wireless adaptor along with it so that I can play xbox live, and damn.... I should have done so much earlier.

I was playing Winning Eleven9 on my old xbox and I was feeling so superior and so complacent about my skillsets, very much like those Custodians at Whitney Detention Centre, that I got bored. At maximum difficulty, I was able to churn out wins like 5-0 easily on my OFF days, with one hand sore and sleepy eyes.

And you could imagine my arrogance when I played Winning Eleven 2008 online on Xbox Live. I didn't even think I need to practice to the new version, with the new controller. Afterall, all the moves are the same.

My first game... I was trounced 8-1.

I felt like the Custodian at Whitney Detention Centre.

So I set up a Commission of Inquiry and I realised that there were some subtle changes to the controller and the new version have some new moves. So I spent the next 2 hours practicing Offline.

And I went back online to play.

My second game.... I was trounced 5-1.

And as of today, I'm still practicing.

I have a friend who was playing NBA thru xbox Live and I joined him.

NBA2k8 is even better. We were both hooked up on the headset and we were trash talking to each other away while playing. The good thing about playing NBA2k8 online is that they updated the Latest ROSTER. YES... the LATEST ROSTER!!! SHAQ ONEAL is with Phoenix SUNS!!!!

xbox360 ROCKS!!

there's something about ..... wanted

there's something about ..... conspiracy (updated)

Many theories out there.

1.) Mas Selamat is being tortured to death and Ministry is covering up.

2.) Mas Selamat managed to convert the whole ISD to become a JI network and he was able to escape at ease.

3.) He is now a member of the Ministry of Affairs and he is being sent out as a mole so that the whole JI network can be conquered.

4.) Mas Selamat did not escape. It's a test to see how operational ready is our soldiers and police task force.

5.) Mas Selamat did not escape. The LTA wanted to add more ERP gantries without anyone noticing.

6.) Mas Selamat did not escape. The Ministry wanted to take away everyone's attention on the rising cost problem in Singapore.

7.) Mas Selamat did not escape. The Ministry wanted to take away everyone's attention on the Budget Debate and passed the bill without anyone noticing.

8.) Mas Selamat did not escape. MOH wanted to take away everyone's attention on Means Testing.

there's something about ..... description

Profile of Mas Selamat

1.) Height: 1.58m. Diplomatic way of saying would be "he is about the height of an average Singapore girl". Non-diplomatic way of saying, according to the Starhub MMS I received "SHORT".

2.) Could be bearded. Or might have shaved off with a stolen knife, ala.. crocodile Dundee style.

3.) Limp on the left leg but only noticeable when he runs.

4.) Wearing loose clothings and perhaps with a Cap lowered.

5.) Emotionally Erratic. Meaning.. he might cry while running and suddenly he might laugh.

6.) Needs Money, Shelter and Clothing and Food. Looks out for people stealing food from Foodcourt trays or hawker centre. He might look like typical uncle clearing food trays.

7.) Might have slight cough due to the haze.

8.) He might have been drenched due to the rain, expect Running Nose too.

there's something about ..... fugitive

Obviously Wong Kan Seng didn't watch the Hit Movie "The Fugitive" or they would have caught the Mas Salamet by now.

I mean this man is crippled. To have escaped from a toilet, he would still need to have to get past a boundary wall.

I would think that a Most Wanted Criminal would be given 20 minutes toilet break at most before anybody would notice that he has escaped.

Even if he got out of the toilet in the 1st minute, to get to the boundary wall and try to escape would probably take you another 10-15 mins. Meaning to say, he might have really escaped by about 5 minutes before anyone got noticed.

Assuming by then, you activate the whole Ministry of Affairs and Ministry of Defence, the longest this should take is 30 minutes.

In 35 minutes, a crippled may not have gone too far.

I would think I am fitter than Mas Selamat. I probably do 2.4km in about 35 minutes. YES... I'm not that fit... but I would think I'm still fitter than Mas selamat.

A crippled would probably not do 2.4km. At most, probably about 1km. You just cast out a human net of 1km Radius.

Saying is easy but the fact that they couldn't find a crippled fugitives within a day is disturbing.

Remember they can find a NSF with a rifle within 24 hours but they couldn't find a crippled in more than 40 hours, and a crippled that could escape a detention centre smell fishy.

In my opinion, this is one elaborate escape plan. How on earth could a crippled escape from a detention centre of Singapore standard? You probably has someone standing outside the toilet of the Most Wanted Criminal.

And what kind of toilet is that? Surely it's not some toilet where the window is facing into the woods. I would have thought that the toilet is within a cell or a building.

So to have escaped out of the toilet, escape thru the building, escape thru a boundary wall which I assume it's of certain height.... all these while being crippled??!?!?!? Come on!!

Government should start investigating within the ISD.

Wong Kan Seng was all calm when he gave the parliamentary speech on this. He even let on a little smile like nothing big is happening.

40 hours and they still couldn't catch a crippled? I would find that amusing enough to smile too.

there's something about ..... 2010

This is old news by now.

Interestingly, no one remembers that we are supposed to be playing in the World Cup in 2010.

But instead of that, we are now hosting Youth Olympics.

Sorry if I don't sound patriotic which I usually am, but for some strange reasons, I wasn't exactly jumping with excitment like all those at the Padang.

I was more excited about F1 though.

Anyway, the government was doing a fabulous job in ensuring everyone at Padang shares the same joy and excitment. If only they could do that to every citizen right now with rising costs concern.

there's something about ..... sunroof

You know you are old when you buy an MPV for the family.

So I got my car on Saturday. The first thought when I saw the Sunroof was... "Cool".

However, till now... I still couldn't figure out the practicality or the intent of having any Sunroof in the car.

I tried many "patterns" to see how that would make the ride enjoyable.

I keep the aircon on with the sunroof opened.

I off the aircon with the sunroof opened.

I off the aircon, open the windows with the sunroof opened.

The conclusion...... I couldn't figure out the logic.

If the intention was to get that "Convertible" feeling.... you don't get it. Wind doesn't blow through your hair because of the sunroof. It blows through your hair because of the window.

If the intention was to be able to stand up and put your head through the roof... the roof it's too small.

If the intention was to be able to look at the sky while driving.... you could look ahead and still see the sky.

If the intention was to get the sun into the car while driving.... the aircon either escaped through the sunroof or the direct heat from the Sun into the car cause your aircon to work harder and in turn increase your fuel consumption.

If the intention is to get more breeze in..... it doesn't.

If the intention is to get a tanned while driving.... only the forehead gets the sun.

So seriously, I dunno what is the Sunroof for. Seems like alot of money spent on constructing something so irrelevant and illogical. They should just reduce the car price by couple of thousands.

there's something about ..... lessons

Edison Chen holds a press conference today in HK.....



In it, he said...

"...role model... I failed in this regard, however, I hope this matter will teach everyone a lesson..."

Top 10 Lessons everyone should learn from this matter:

No. 10 Always repair your computer from a reliable source

No.9 Always store your videos and photographs in external harddisks, mobile harddisks, thumbdrives etc etc. and locked them up in a safe... in a bank.

No.8 If your photos ever leaked, don't say the photos are faked/photoshopped... say they are look-alike.

No.7 Buy a good viewcam that takes clear videos under poor light conditions.

No.6 Wear nicer underwear so that if the photos ever leaked, no one will say you have bad taste.

No.5 If you ever want to date your boss's niece, it's a bad idea to film her.

No.4 If your boyfriend wants to film you, avoid spreading your legs directly at the viewcam. You look like a porno star.

No.3 While two-timing your boyfriend/husband is bad enough, involved in theme play with a police uniform is below the belt.

No.2 Shaved.

No.1 Shaved more.

there's something about ..... superman

Superman is Real! No Kidding!! He real name is not Clark Kent but Dwight Howard. His day job is not journalist but he is a professional basketball player in NBA!!

This must be the best Slam Dunk contest since Michael Jordan era. Dwight Howard even surpassed Kobe Bryant's and Vince Carter's standard.

He scored 4 full marks in his 4 different dunks but this one will capture all headlines. While this score high in entertainment value, his other 2 dunks score high in technical, high in difficulty and high in creativity. However, only this captures the heart... and this captured my heart.

Fabulous!! The ball is being lobbed over the top of the basket by his team-mate standing behind the basket.

there's something about ..... ttsh (updated)

My mum was having a A&E situation yesterday and I promptly sent her to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. She is fine now but yesterday was one amusing day for me.

Coolcat was asking why I always have such dramas when visiting Hospital... and seriously.. I do not know.

As said, it was an A&E situation. After the nurse pushed my mum to the consultation room which is out of bounds for companions, I was asked to wait in another area.

The nurse told me that the doctor would not come in/out through the "normal" waiting area and it's more convenient if I could wait in another waiting area.

So she lead me to the next "waiting" area and I was shock, confused, amused all at once.

IT'S A LOADING BAY FOR AMBULANCE!!!!!!! See those chairs behind the plants, I was asked to sit there and wait.... without air con..... without TV.... without magazine racks..... but greenery view!!!!

I got this niggering feeling that perhaps I was rude to the nurse in the first place and this is like a little punishment for me.

After waited for about 15 minutes and see no action, I returned to the same nurse and asked how long more I have to wait and I was told it's a LOOONGGG wait.

Win liao lor... I was asked to wait at a "loading bay" not briefly but a LONG one.

So I decided to go to the Toilet. The layout of the A&E is not exactly efficient. After a long winding path within the A&E department, I found the toilet.

Just after I used it and was about to begin my long journey back to the loading bay, I "bumped" into my mum being wheeled from the consultation area to observation area. In that narrow corridor, my mum is able to tell me the whole diagnosis result and even asked me to go back first as she would have to be observed for half a day. ALL in that short width of the corridor.

I don't see the logic of asking me to wait at the loading bay when all the activities are happening on the other end of the department, unless as I mentioned, I was rude and this is the way to weed out nuisance. Or perhaps that is the smoking area and I have a smoker face.

Update

Read from the ST that there is a space crunch at TTSH. As a result of that, even the CEO has to give up his office to house a consulation room.

And there I was complaining about my comfortness while waiting at a loading bay..... tsk tsk tsk

there's something about ..... edison chen saga

The photographs stopped coming... and conspiracy theory started...

Taken from a website.

02/13/08
Labyrinth translated an earlier comment from Hade. It sounds far-fetched, but it’s a fun piece if you’re into conspiracy theories.

Latest News!Kira received 7 million HK dollars, disappears forever.Beijing, Feb 12, 2008

The curtain has dropped: According to friends in HK, all the photos we have seen thus far were screen captures from videos. Gill’s photos were the first 10 minutes of the video, why? Because it was a used as a bargaining chip for extortion. Secondly, the audio of the video involves the reputation of many other big-name celebrities.Gaoqing (who?) has over 1000 photos alone, and they were partially released last year. The first time Edison’s photo got released was the result of a hacker. This hacker has the most complete data. In order to protect himself from hackers and trojans, he transferred part of his data to his Apple computer. Apple does not run Windows, and most trojan are designed towards windows. The photos that were stolen during his computer repair is only a small part, and that is to the person we come to know as Kira. Photos of Vincy Yeung released on the 9th was unexpected from EEG Music. As we know, Edison’s photo all came in a set, and every women has a complete collection including the sexual parts. Usually they are released in few numbers first, then released in completion. So Vincy has a complete collection too.
Kira’s upload on the 9th, 4:45 is the last upload from Kira. He had an agreement with EEG in the amount of 700 hk dollars. Why did Gill’s manager said Gill would appear on the 11th? Because they have came to an agreement with Kira. After the money is received he needs 24 hours to confirm payment, also time for him to flee. As a matter of fact, the photos he has have already been uploaded to various free servers in the United States and Europe. If the discussion does not fall into place or if anything were to happen to him, he has set automatic emails that would email the links to his trustworthy friends, so they can spread the files. The reason Gill appears in front of the media on the 11th, and the fact that she had a big smile on her face, was because she knew the ordeal has came to a rest.
What’s Kira’s gain for showing us the photos? What does he get by destroying the life of these celebrities? He is not a warrior of morals, he’s just a regular Hong Kong citizen. Money is his ultimate choice. So everyone, please stop calling for him, he has disappears forever. From tomorrow, there’s a lot more entertainers going to entertain us, and the danger is over. It is disappointed for us, but we all know the reason behind Kira’s action.
GossipThe photos actually were stolen a long time ago. At first Kira talked to Edison, asking for 5 million HK dollars, but was not agreed upon. Edison was afraid he won’t be able to get back all the photos. He looked for Yeung Shou Cheng (EEG’s president) to help him on the matter. Eventually, Kira released some information to the media, the magazines last year briefly mentioned this matter. However because of EEG’s influential power, magazines were afraid to show the photos nor pay Kira. Through the help of magazine’s editor, one of the three members from Kira’s group was found. He knew whether he surrender the photos or not, he was doomed. He did not say anything while being question, and was eventually killed. The other two then fled to Southeast Asia, and again try to distort EEG and Edison. Befor the matter gains public attention Edison already knew, because both parties could not agree on a price, this time Kira was asking more than 10 millions. Edison took a private car to Shenzhen, then to Macau, took a private plane from his dad’s friend to the United States, and look for Vincy Yeung to help his cause. Yeung Shou Cheng thought he could handle the matter, but eventually it was still not solved. Kira has decided to raise the price, and released the photos the night when Edison fled HK. Since that day Kira has been raising his price every day. It is believed Kira is in Thailand and Indonesia, and Kira is a group of two, and the data has been uploaded to the United States.Do not think you have seen the best of all, why hasn’t C10’s and Maggie Q’s photo being released? Because Kira hasn’t gotten the right price, or because of safety reason, there isn’t a safe way for him to get paid.Right now, both parties are fighting. The involvement of HK police has propelled this tension to its maximum. If Kira is sure he couldn’t get his money, there’s gonna be a monster upload, but not all. The reason is because there’s heavy involvement from other celebrities, including HK, China and Taiwan. If Kira wants to live longer than Edison, he would have to have something to protect himself from.

It is obvious what is going to happen to Edison, he’s going to die unnaturally.

Vincy’s 3 photos was a declaration of power to EEG, showing Kira has even better materials. This action forced EEG to come to the table, leaving the police behind. Bobo’s photos that were uploaded today were no longer of importance, since she was only a sacrifice in this whole matter. However, Vincy, C10 and Maggie Q, definitely will not be released today. Because this is Kira’s ultimate chip. And the most controversial material in Kira’s collection? I dare not say, because I don’t want to die before Edison does.

Trust my information and do not ask me where the information is from. Use your head to decide whether this is true.

there's something about ..... avi

No... no... I don't have the video of Maggi Q and Edison Chen.... and "avi" do not stand for "Adult Video Iwant".


Leon passed me few decent movies in "avi" format over the weekend and I promptly copied it into my hard-disk.


So how do you watch a "avi" format movie? It all depends whether you are stubborn or not.


If you are not stubborn, most computers like mine will be able to play the format and you will watch over the computer.


However, I belonged to the stubborn category. I insist on watching it on TV. And so I begin my long journey......


Tuesday


1.) I burnt it onto a Disc(1). Brought to my DVD player and realised my DVD player which supposedly could support avi could not play my Disc. I thought perhaps I need to convert to mpeg 4.


2.) I downloaded an software to convert avi to mpeg4 on evaluation or trial. After 1 hour of converting, the F%& software says that only 60% is converted and the remaining 40% will have to be paid.



Yesterday


1.) Desperately I seek Leon's help. He advised that perhaps the speed of burning is too fast. So I burned into another Disc (2) on a slower speed. I tried and it still couldn't play on the dvd player.


2.) Decided to download another converter, this time round I was looking for freeware. Found one and downloaded it.


3.) The software apparently could convert to multiple formats. I was smiling, very proud of my effort.


4.) Saw that it could direct covert to "DVD Pal", so I chose the option. After 1 hour of convertion, I burned into another Disc (3) and tried to play on my DVD player. Ninabeh. Cannot see!!! Double check the disc and realised that "DVD Pal" is actually "vob" format. And only contains one VOB file.


5.) With a never give up attitude, I decided to try another format. Decided that MP2 might be the right one. So after 1 hour of converting, I was clever not to burned into the disc and wanted to test on my computer first. Heng!!! The MP2 was either corrupted or not supportable by my computer media player. Decided that it's too risky to burned into the disc.


6.) Very low morale, I decided to finally settle for MP4 format. So after 1 hour of converting and tested on my PC to be working fine, I decided not to burn the disc. Decided that 1Gb file is too wasteful for 1 disc.

Today

1.) Trying to convert all the other movies.

2.) Still Converting.

there's something about ..... edison chen

I have just seen all the sexcapades photographs... ACCIDENTALLY. I googled "entertainment" and came across this website that carries all the photographs. REALLY!!

Anyway, these are my thoughts:

1.) While I'm no expert, they are not doctored. Fact that Edison Chen and Gillian Chung came out to apologise without dismissing those photos suggested these are real.

2.) Even if these "actresses" are lookalike, I don't think anyone mind. At least, Edison Chen and myself do not mind.

3.) It's so easy to get a laid in HK movie industry. Doesn't matter if you look like a kid, not good looking, wear baggy jeans but you must have that "bad boy" look and you must be at least semi-famous.

4.) HK Actresses like to be filmed while sucking.

5.) Edison Chen has no preferences for women, as long as they are willing.

6.) Edison Chen has average size manhood. Not that it's important at all to the actresses.

7.) I want to quit my job and become an actor.

8.) Gillian and Cecilia will be the next Category III Star. In fact, they can venture into Japan as AV Star. I think they will be a hit.

9.) Bobo Chan is screwed, literally!! For the rest of her life!!! She do not have what it takes to be a Category III star unlike Gillian and Cecilia, and her wedding to a rich man is off!!

10.) I want to quit my job and become an actor.

there's something about ..... cj7

Yesterday I caught CJ7 in the theater.

After refusing to watch a pirated version from JB at my inlaws place on CNYday2 (it's HK version and the peddlar told them it was recorded in the cinema), I was hoping this show would boost my ego during my next visit to my inlaws.

How?

Inlaws : hey.. we got CJ7 DVD... you want to watch... (translated from dialect)

Me: No lah... Watching it in the cinema tomorrow (very proud of my middle-class syndrome)

inlaws: this show no effects one...

Me: It's ok... I bought the ticket already.

And now I hope I never have to return to my inlaws' place and be asked "CJ7.. HOR KUA BOH?"

Seriously... I'm disappointed. In retrospect, I would have taken the pirated DVD and watched it at home. I didn't feel it was worth watching it at the cinema.

Don't take me wrong. The movie is not all bad but I was disappointed. But the best thing about the movie was actually the trailer. It was so good you really want to watch the movie. That is what all good trailers do.



This is not your stephen Chow slapstick comedy that is found in Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle.

So you can imagine my disappointment hoping to get a laugh and got none of it. In fact, you can call this heartwarming or a tearjerker if you are ultra sensitive.

The show is well-made actually. Stephen Chow was convincing as a odd-job labouror trying to be a good father. The kid acted very well. The supporting cast was generally good. The "effects" on the alien is not too bad. The story is atypical but you don't feel jaded like watching another gangster movie from HK or another Rocky franchise. The little humour there and then was just about right for this kind of show.

I like the subtle reference to his last 2 shows. Like how Kung Fu Hustle made reference to Shaolin Soccer, and this one made reference to the 2. And I like how at the end of the show, Stephen Chow decided to revert back to his slapstick after acting serious throughout the movie, almost like telling the world that he-is-sorry- and-this-would-be-the-last-time-he-is-doing-a-serious-movie.

But I'm still disappointed.

P/s: Looks like CJ7 is the winner during this CNY movie feast. From the look of monitor screen at GV, Ah Long looks like a very close second place and that Kung Fu basketball is a obvious distant 3rd.

there's something about ..... cny

Here wishing all my friends a Happy New Year.

May you win more money gambling, except playing with me...

and win CNY TOTO draw (second prize) while I win the TOP prize.

there's something about ..... s-pop

I was just telling coolcat today how I enjoy S-POP Hurray, that program that celebrates Singapore chinese music.

It was a trip down memory lane when they showcase the music from early years all the way to current pop. You have Teng Miao Hua, Eric Moo to Stephanie Sun and JJ. Practically every singer was featured from the last 25 years or so... except....

Ho Yeow Sun!!!! How can they omit such established International star?!?!? Even the Fann Wong whom she admitted that she can't sing, got featured and sang! The international star who probably think she is singer of International standard was not featured. (at least at this point)

Anyway, yesterday's show featured Teng Miao Hua singing the song from Siao Fei Yu (flying fish).

My wife was asking me, "how come they never feature JIANG HU?"

I did a Youtube and I found this classic song by Jiang Hu.



Somewhere in the first quarter of the "MTV", you see Li Nanxing did a James Bond of Casino Royale. That was hilarious!! I Think SBC can sue the James Bond franchise for imitating Li Nanxing.

Other "SBC" classic:

there's something about ..... superbowl

What a fantastic game!!! This must have ranked my Top 5 Final for all sports ever!!

I remembered how Singapore won the Malaysia Cup beating Kedah in the Final.

I remembered when Michael Jordan made "The Last Shot" and won the NBA Finals.

I remembered when Liverpool came from 0-3 down to win the Champions League in 2005.

I remembered how Kimi Raikonnen win F1 last year when Hamilton choked big time in the last race.

And I have now witnessed the best Superbowl EVER!!!!

After Patriots score a touchdown thus leading 14-10 with 2.30 mins left in the 4th quarter, everybody including players from NY Giants thought it's all over.... except Eli Manning.

With 1 minute left, he somehow managed to survive a sack and throw out a 32 yards conversion. That rattles Patriots so much that within 30 secs, Eli Manning made that clutch throw for a touchdown!

How Patriots could not defend is almost impossible to comprehend. Patriots would have made history as the best team ever if they won this superbowl but they are now also in the history as the team that choked amazingly to a wild-card team that no ones thought could win.




My wife was asking me "is there no sports you don't watch?"

And I answered "cricket!"

"and why is this called Superbowl?"

"......"

Seriously, American Football is one ridiculous sports. It's a "football" that doesn't depend your feet to win but in your ability to throw and catch a ball. But I guess someone already invented the name basketball and handball, and someone forgot to tell them that "football" has been adopted by the whole world outside of USA.

So to camouflage their inability to find an appropriate name and refusal to accept it was a mistake, they decided to continue the mistake by staking a claim that it's American. Meaning to say, "WE ARE AMERICAN, we rule the world, we call the sports the way we like it!"

And if ridiculous name is not ridiculous enough, they name their biggest event after a crockery. And to make sure it's not just a normal crockery, they have to emphasize it's SUPER CROCKERY!

I loved Superbowl!!

p/s: I'm a fan of 49ers. In real football terms, it's like supporting Nottingham Forest.

there's something about ..... leading pisa

We were going through the tour photographs of Coolcat during Christmas Eve when we came across those photos taken of Leading Tower of pisa.

It's an amazing structure, not so much of the architectural merits or the wonders why it is slanting, but it has that amazing powers to make EVERYONE do that "hand-supporting-the-tower-and-smile-at-the-camera" pose.

It's simply amazing!

When I was there with my then-girlfriend-now-my-wife, I told myself that I'm not going to do something so silly. It's so bloody embarassing. It's so bloody uncool.

We ended up doing it. And took a picture as well. Bloody hell!

I think the phenomenon to explain this is : conformity.

When in Pisa (Rome), you do what the Tourists (romans) do.

Everyone does that and you decided to conform.

While everyone concentrates on the leading tower, many people ignore the beautiful tower just across the leading tower. It's just as nice except it's not slanting.

Life is so perverse. No one cares if they are normal, people only cares about deficiency. Cludos to Coolcat. She managed to capture the forgotten tower.



So people, if you ever go to Leading Tower of pisa, do pay more attention to the Tower across it.... as well as your pose.

there's something about ..... race

The amazing race still gives me the goose bumps. The finale may not be the best in terms of excitment given that all 3 finalists are nice couples and none has physical advantage, but it still good enough for me.

Damn!! It's going to be another long wait for the next series. I should find myself another fav TV show....

there's something about ..... essense

I was about to fall asleep last night when my wife woke me up to get me to "relocate" a bottle of chicken of essense away from the window.

"why?"

"...because the morning sun would come in tomorrow and may cause the chicken essense to spoil"

"Why don't you drink it now?"

"No one drinks chicken of essense at 1am at night."

"It's ok to leave it there lah."

"you want me to drink something unsafe?"

"it's safe, this whole bottle can put into microwave oven for heating up, so morning sun is not half as bad plus lesser radiation. Also chicken is a farm animal, they like morning sun, so I don't think they turn bad so easily."

"you want me to drink something unsafe?"

She won the argument.

there's something about ..... mac air

Keynote by Jobs



Macbook Air Advert



Macbook Air Advert parody (funny man!)



Mr Brown's experiment!

there's something about ..... protocol

There's always a certain protocol for everything.

Like there is a protocol for finding a urinal in the toilet.... for example, you do not use the urinal next to the one that is being used by another gentleman. You skip that and you use the one 2 urinals away, thus leaving a "gap" between you and that gentleman.

It's almost an unspoken rule.

Like how a packet of tissue paper has a much superior duty of "chopping" seats. 20 cents buy you a sense of security that you can go and buy your lunch and come back to your seat knowing that your tissue paper has done a great job. And after that, you betray the tissue paper by using them and dispose them off.

And I just discovered another protocol. How you should stand in the lift.

When the lift is crowded with strangers, everybody stand facing the lift door and examine the amount of grease on the gentleman's hair in front of you.

When the lift is occupied by a couple of strangers and there are plenty of room to do star-jump, you tend to want to relax and lead against the sides of the lift and you glance sideway towards the lift door like you are expecting something unusual happening to the door other than the door being opened.

When the lift is occupied by 2 others fellow parent of your kid's school after dropping off your kid and if the lift is fully mirrored from all sides, glancing at the lift door means looking at each other indirectly and it's a no-no. Given such a situation, you must lead against the sides of the lift, both hands in front of you and you look down to the floor very much like how you would say grace. That way you avoid all eye contact in a lift.

See.. there is a protocol for everything.

there's something about ..... communication

I have been busy the last 1 over week on my buddy's wedding. Not too often you still have buddies getting married at this age and it's a real blast!!

I was jokingly telling coolcat that maybe it's time I find other buddies that would satisfy my desire to be best man.

They have to be in their late 20s, and planning to get married in about 2 years so that we have time to bond and build the buddy-buddy relationship.

Yesterday at the wedding, we saw how modern technology has conquer our lives. Some of my friends were constantly on the phone with clients and colleagues, even at night!!!

And I just wondered.... wasn't life much easier during the days without such technology?

It's almost a job requirement now for you to reveal your mobile number to your office as well as your client. And when you express privacy as a reason for not giving, one will be given to you... plus a blackberry.

You thought... WOW... blackberry... you take it with a glee...

... and the glee last for 3 days...... and you felt like you have been cursed after that. You wonder which is worse... client calling you after office hours or client sending you an email after office hours but expect you to reply immediately... because you carry a blackberry.

Gone were the days when you carry a pager....

The pager peep..... and you ignore it.

The next day, client ask you why you didn't return the page and you replied that your phone card has no more value or you couldn't find a public phone in the train.

In fact, during those days, clients do not page for you outside office hours. It's almost a courtesy thing to do. Nobody does that. They wait till the next day and if necessary, they faxed across to your office asking you to return the call.

So you are given a blackberry? Good luck to you!

there's something about ..... countdown

... or the lack of any.

It's frustrating. Just when I was hoping in my last post not to have any A&E situations in the new year, I ended up having one spread over the new year.

And by the look of it, it looks like I'm the only one at the A&E.

The queue is extremely fast. 5 minutes and it was our turn.

The saddest thing is that they were putting on Channel 5 on a TV and you could see Gurmit Singh and Mchielle Chia doing the countdown show. Of course, watching that show at home would be equally sad, but imagine watching at a A&E and you really felt rock bottom.

The most defining moment was the strike of 12 midnight. It was so bloody awkard because I was paying up to leave and 12 midnight arrives. I was like their last customer of 2007 and first customer of 2008. The hosipital staff and myself weren't too sure if we should say "Happy New Year".

What's there to be happy? They were doing shift on New Year's Eve and I'm at the A&E which is not exactly a happy place to be.

Nevertheless, we should thank them for working. And I must thank the doctor who rushed down.

Now, I'm not too sure whether I should add this as one of the top 10 notable events in 2007 or 2008.

there's something about ..... 2007

Every last day of the year, I would do a recap/highlights of the passing year. I did it last year in
2006

This is a rather "boring" year where personal level is concerned. National Level seems exciting though.... but that is not the agenda here.

Top 10 notable events of 2007

10.) One of my post make it to Seewhatshow of Mr Brown. It was a movie review of 4:30 seewhatshow My blog is generally not a high traffic blog and no effort was done to make this any more prominent as it is. It's really for my own rants and muse. To know that someone like Brown come across this... it's like a nomination of Best Actor in Golden Balls.

9.) Another of my post make it to Mr Brown

8.) I finally watch a movie in the Cinema and it shows breasts and balls. It's been like 3 years since my last movie at a cinema, so you can imagine my excitment of watching a RA movie.

7.) This year is a frustrating year where traffic summons is concerned. They fine you for no good reasons. Yes you did commit a traffice "offence"( read link ) but you can't help it but feel that they are more for monetary gain than the true spirit of traffic management. I have yet to make a post on this, but my mum was caught Jay Walking not on Orchard Road where hundreds of people do that, but on a service road at the back of Junction 8!!! It was a road where you could reach the other side within 10 steps. But a sneaky Warden was hiding behind the pillar and bounced on you for $20 fine.

6.) A turtle crossing a 3-lane major road along Keng Lee Road, opposite a police station, and did not get fine for Jay walking! see link

5.) I have the most expensive Chap Chai rice at $7 over at Vivo City. What inflation due to GST nonsense?! Our Inflation is due to listed food court operator charging super-high-rent on foodstall owners and they in turn pass on the costs to us.

4.) I'm a super sports fan. There are only 2 sports which I don't follow. Baseball and Cricket. And I get super-excited over a climatic finale. So you can imagine I have the best F1 experience ever when Kimi Raikonnen beat Hamilton in the Final Race. Fabulous stuff!!

3.) Any holidays must be among the Top 10.

2.) My son was hospitalised over Children's day. It's the first time this ever happened and the virus was passed on to my wife who in turn got into a panic attack which shocks us.

1.) Dad was hospitalised due to sepsis. It was a dangerous thing that can happened to an elder and we are glad he is alright now.

It's been 2 years in a row where my top 2 events involve round hospital. This has to stop for good!!

2007 Resolutions

Let's see whether I have achieved any of my 2007 Resolutions.

1.) To Improve on my Business and hope for a breakthru year. In fact, this shall remain permanent.

This has indeed improved. But there is no surprise when the economy also improve and therefore you ride on it. But yes... I would say I have met this resolution.

2.) To catch up with my wife to be a good parent.

While I may not have match my wife's level, but the gap is narrowing. So I would say I have met this resolution.

3.) To lose weight. Ok.. let's be realistic. 78kg will be my target for this year.

Nabeh!

4.) To find a new hobby.

hmmm..... I did start on futsol this year. ok lah... resolution met!

5.) To read more books with my son.

I failed on this. We started new classes for him and somehow we took it for granted and we read to him lesser.

6.) Be healthy. To cut down on visits to Clinic by half to almost zero in 2007.

Failed!

7.) Can making babies be a Resolution, can.. ok lah...

met.

2008 Resolutions

Carried forward:

1.) To Improve on my Business and hope for a breakthru year. In fact, this shall remain permanent.

2.) To lose weight. 78kg will be my target for this year.

3.) To find a new hobby.

4.) To read more books with my son.

5.) Be healthy. To cut down on visits to Clinic to 4 times a year.

6.) To strengthen my knees.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

there's something about ..... christmas and 881

It was a great Christmas Dinner at Coolcat's.

Somehow, this year's dinner fare is more varied, breaking away from more traditional Christmas food.

As a result of Chicken Wings and Chicken Rice, I'm down with a severe Sorethroat.. so bad that swallowing Saliva becomes a nerve-wrecking experience.

Needless to say, I have to endure 2 nights of lousy sleep, both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

My family Doctor must have been making good money. He doesn't work on Holidays as well as 3/4 nights of the week. I was only able to consult him this morning.

And just when I thought my Christmas can't get any worse, I decided to watch 881 last night.

You know that Royston Tan's hit and Singapore Top Grossing Movie of 2007 beating spiderman 3 in the process.

I'm sorry to those people who gave fantastic reviews of the show and sorry to those who spent money to watch it at local cinemas and have bought DVDs, but my borrowed pirated DVD from JB, did not give me much pleasure at all.

This is not a movie inspired by 歌抬， it's a movie inspired by 天龙八部. Those who have watched would know what I'm referring to. I mean... your movie is almost reaching greatness and you have to spoil it with your Laser-effects-coming-from-fingers? Upon searching the official website of 881, I realised the right term to use is "laser darts". The below para is taken from their website:

"At a confrontation, the Durians challenge the Papayas to a showdown. The stakes are high: whoever loses will leave the getai scene for good. The Papayas accept, and start preparing for the big day – new costumes, new songs, new dances. The movie climaxes with a dramatic musical battle. Both sides pull out all the stops to win over the audience, at first with their musical numbers. But as the fight becomes more intense, the Durians attack with their laser darts and the Papayas retaliate with their celestial powers. Who will triumph? Watch Royston Tan’s 881! "

The best part of the show is really the opening 5 minutes of the show. The first 5 minutes gave me so much anticipation about the movie that I must say the let-down was too great.

I wouldn't know if they have done the show without the "Laser Darts", whether I would like the show more... as I said, I wouldn't know.

It's disappointing. I was really looking forward to a good movie and a great Christmas. I got none.

Merry my foot!

there's something about ..... travelogue 5: wine

This shanghai trip is part business, part pleasure. Almost every dinner is with business associates in some lavish restaurants.


Our very first dinner with them, I was asked if I drink "白酒".


Of course I do and I replied accordingly.


Just when I was expecting white wine like those over here from the western countries, I was given a rude shock.


It was really WHITE. Crystal clear white like Water. They pour it into a very small glass with each serving equivalent to a little more than a sip. For every toast, you are supposed to finish... I mean.. it's only a sip. You can't simply have half a sip, that would look silly and rediculous.


How bad can that be, I thought. The worse case could be like brandy, I thought.


On the very first toast, like everyone else, I gulp it in..... without thinking.


NINABEH!!!


This alcohol BURNS!!!! I don't mean brandy kind of burn, it felt like drinking fire! Naturally I choked!


The chinese people got a good laugh. Nabeh!


I was told that this contains about 60% alcohol and the actual term is called "高粮". This is supposedly the best chinese wine ever. After each drink, you can feel the liquid going through your body down to the intestines. It's that strong.

And once you finished the first Gulp alive... these Chinese Businessmen expects you continue this drink with them for subsequent Toasts.

What price you pay for free dinners.

Moral of the Story.... Don't go China.

there's something about ..... travelogue 4: Car/Child

Shanghai is a Heaven of Imitations. They have imitated every possible thing they can, you name it, they imitate it to perfection.

They even imitate BMW but with a engine made in China. They even sell Thumbdrives with 32GB and 48GB. Seriously I'm out of touch with such things but I don't believe Singapore got such high capacities in thumbdrives.

They don't just stop there. They also imitate Singapore's car management policies. They have what we called COE in Shanghai.

Our Singapore very own COE is now available in Shanghai.

While COE in Singapore buys you a certificate that last for 10 years, in Shanghai, you bid for the licence car plate that last you as long as your car can last.

When I left Shanghai, the bidding for the licence Car Plate is about $58000RMB or about S$11000.

As a comparison, a Honda Oydessy there cost about S$70,000.

So the smart alec will say, I will then buy a car outside Shanghai and drive into Shanghai lor. Like Singaporean buying a JB car, except in China you would not have cross-province custom.

But while you think you are Smart, Shanghai Policy-maker also not stupid lor. Most major highway and major roads are out of bounds for non-shanghai registered cars. That way, even if you buy a non-shanghai registered car which is cheaper by $58000RMB, you would not be able to commute to your destination without much frustrations.

So while you get frustrated about bidding for a licence plate, you have a much bigger hurder before that. Getting a licence!!

They pay about $50,000RMB for a licence or S$10,000. So you paid over $2k for a licence in Singapore and you already complained? Thank god you reincarnated in Singapore and not in Shanghai.

However, they only imitate Singapore Car Policy and not our procreation policies.

They still have a One-Child Policy. When you give birth to your first Child, the government will assist you by giving you a few months of your salary. However, the reverse happens when you intend to give birth to a second child. The penalty is extremely high. Not only that, the second child may not be entitled to medical and education benefits.

To the very rich, they will just pay the penalty.

However, they have recently "loosen" the policy. If yourself and your wife have no other siblings, meaning both of you are single child, then you are allowed to give birth to a second child.

In any case, it seems this One-Child policy has zero impact on modern Chinese. Most could only afford 1 child and has no plan for a second child.

My Singaporean friends in China who are relocated there have more than a couple of children. And whenever they go out, they would be stared at. In fact, one of them was asked whether she is the mother for all the kids.

I can understand their rationale for One-Child policy. Singapore has gone thru such phases before.

However, I'm thinking... How come Singapore government never give me few months of my salary for my first Child??!?!??!

there's something about ..... travelogue 3: flight meals

We took a SQ midnight flight departing from Singapore at 1.15 am. We thought it makes hell lots of sense. You save on one night of Hotel, you sleep in the plane, you wake up in a new city on a brand new day, you start your touring without missing a beat! Great planning!!

It was well-thought out except that we forgot we are Singaporeans. That means we are bloody Kiasu.

I was almost half-asleep when the plane was in the air just about 1.30am when my wife asked me why I'm sleeping so early.

Dumb question I thought. So I entertained her by replying "It's only a 5 hours flight, we need to catch some sleep."

She replied, "You don't want the refreshments?"

"huh? got refreshments? ok lor"

And so the refreshment came just about 1.45am and we finished that at about just after 2am. It took me a while before I finally slept.

Not for long.

We were all woken up at 4.30am....for breakfast. 4.30AM... BREAKFAST!!!!

Damn it!! I know Hari Raya is around the corner, but do we really have to break fast so early?!??!?

I struggled but decided that I should not waste the food (money). And so I ate breakfast half-asleep.

And out plane arrived at Shanghai at about 6am.

All of us slept for about 2 over hours. Needless to say, we arrived at Shanghai, not full of energy but full of sleepy bugs.

And we spend the whole afternoon sleeping at the hotel.

Ultimate.

there's something about ..... travelogue 2: Taxis

We complained so much about our taxis in Singapore.

How they disappear between 11 to 11.59pm?

How expensive they are during certain hours?

How touting is bad for the image and unfair to most customers who queue?

In Shanghai, thank God, they do not have midnight charge. They do not have peak charges as well. It's so bloody cheap that we took taxis everywhere we go. It's like staying at Marriot Hotel and you wanted to go Raffles City.... take MRT? Nah... just take a cab. The meter never move and we still pay the same flag-down rate of 11RMB which is a little over $2 for 5 of us.

BUT...

This is also where the problem comes.

In Shanghai, the demand for Taxis is extremely huge! You have tourists like us, coming from Singapore who felt the Taxi Charges are so bloody cheap.. can you imagine the Caucasians, both tourists and working there!! This become our basic mode of transport.

What touting?!?!? If there is word to describe what I did, the closest would be "reverse-touting".

We have boarded at least 5 Taxis only to be told that they do not know the place that we were staying. Only on one of the Taxi Rides did we learn from the driver that most Taxis would not want to send us back because the distance is too short and they wouldn't earn enough.

We decided to "bribe" them more. Each time a taxi driver refuses to take us, we offered them $10RMB more ($2) and they would pause a while and suddenly, they would know where we stay.

We consider this "bribe" as worthwhile. They do not have Taxi-Stands and it's like a War out there. Especially in the City and when it's raining.

We don't care if that sets the precedent, we were desperate.

In fact, I was involved in a "fight" over a Taxi.

We were in the City and it was raining, we were unprepared by the down-pour and we waited like 30 minutes under the rain. Finally, I saw a taxi stopping like 50 metres away from me as one passenger was alighting.

I ran towards the Taxi. Likewise, one local woman was also running towards the taxi but she came from across the road.

She reaches the cab before me, but she was asking the driver about a certain locality when I just boarded the cab and told the driver I would pay him 10RMB more. Naturally the local woman was furious.

She came over to the passenger seat where I was, open the door and screamed at me. She wanted me to get out of the cab. I told her that I boarded the cab first and she argued she saw the cab first. I told her that I was on the same side of the road and she wasn't. She continue to abuse me and ordered me to get out. I ignored her and she screamed "下流" before Slamming the door on me.

She probably didn't know where I came from. Otherwise she would have known that Singaporean are so bloody thick skin and we are almost immuned to such abuse of low standards that didn't involve my parent's genitals.

What she also didn't see was that I was grinning. I never have such an opportunity in Singapore and I was glad to be involved in such a "fight". It makes my day.

Don't blame the touts. They were touts because the tourists allowed them to have such opportunity. It's wrong. But really... the tourists wouldn't care. We didn't care as well in Shanghai.

there's something about ..... travelogue 1: luggage

Just came back from Shanghai. At the airport, I took a picture of the amount of luggage that I had and felt a sense of deja vu




And I realised that there were 4 other bags of alcohol from Duty Free that didn't make it to the Trolley.

5 Luggages

4 Hand Carriers

4 Duty Free

1 Stroller

1 Slave (that is me)

Given last year's experience, I have accepted my role during such holidays. You should have seen how we clear customs.

My elders have decided that they are old enough not to carry heavy hand carriers, my wife has decided that she has a bigger responsibility to hold on to my kid, and they have decided that I have the bigger responsibility to hold all the hand carriers. Without the hand carriers, they wouldn't be able to access things that they may not need during the flight and of certain importance should they need it.

It's so complicated.

This is not only a holiday, it's a fitness program. With the responsiblity that I have, it's almost like a ICT.

Sigh!

there's something about ..... University of...

Sigh... I think I may have enter into a wrong course of study in my Uni. If only my parents had given me proper advice.

People go take some Bachelor of BarbeQue from Uni in Hong Kong and can come back and open stalls and become Millionaire... Me? Sigh.


Holiday for 1 week. Hopefully got more things to blog about when I returned.

there's something about ..... fatherhood

It's been a while since I posted something. I was busy trying to clear my work before going on Holiday which is next weeek.


When you try to book a holiday in late November when the whole of Singapore Population already done theirs in September, you know you are unlikely to get choice destinations unless you feel like visiting Iraq or North Korea... and of course certain parts of China which is where I'm heading to.


Anyway, while trying to get ready for my tour, I decided to also become a slightly better father.


Jeff told me that I should bring my kid to watch Disney on ice. I probably would if they charged half-price for the kid or half-price for the accompanying adult or perhaps follow our local cinemas for having a cheaper ticket on a Monday afternoon. To summarise: I thought it was expensive.


But... wouldn't a smile on your kid's face be so priceless?


I struggled on that and decided to become a better father. I decided to bring my kid to see DORA at United Square yesterday. I didn't know what is Dora and boot but again.. it's not about what I know, it's about what my son knows and likes.


And there I go to my very first cartoon characters show held at Malls.




With the show starting at 7pm and us arriving at 6.30pm, and almost the whole Singapore Population queuing up or "chopping" their territory on the second floor as early as 5pm, you know you are likely to get a viewing gallery as ulu as Iraq or North Korea.

However, with a never give-up attitude or that determination not to disappoint my kid, we queue hoping that we are able to get into the sitting area. At the same time, I went to see if I'm able to get space on the second storey. At 6.30pm, you have better luck buying 4D for Saturday's draw than finding a space in the mall.

Just when we were very near to the entrance of the sitting area, we realised that we have queued for nothing!! You have to purchase $30 worth of merchandise before you are allowed to enter the sitting area!!! Ninabeh!!!

Hurriedly, we went into the merchandise area just to see if we can somehow buy something very last minute.

And I realised.. I could actually view the whole show just standing at the merchandise area which is much nearer to the stage than those kids standing at the back of the sitting area! I took the above picture without zooming and you could see how near we are to the stage.

The best thing is... I didn't need to buy anything!! Cunning!

Yes.. my son would not have that chance to take photo upclose with DORA ($30 include that picture), but I know that he was smiling so happily just being able to watch the show.

I felt peaceful with myself. No more quilt.

Like my son always say "I KNOW YOU CAN DOOO IT" (some phrase from Dora)